Following a late game defeat to Germany in World Cup final, Argentine captain Lionel Messi has come under harsh criticism for failing to propel his painfully average team to victory against a vastly superior Teutonic side.

Not only did Messi miss a golden opportunity to score when through on goal, but he also insisted on passing the ball throughout the game when he should have been able to run the entire length of the pitch himself (or at the very least score a couple of goals from 45 yards out).

“I mean, how hard is it to dribble past eleven Germans who are in top physical condition and then slot one in past the world’s best goalkeeper with little to no support from largely mediocre teammates?” said Emenejildo Ruperez, a local, self-proclaimed World Cup expert and tactician extraordinaire who religiously watches soccer for one month every four years.

It should be noted that this is not the first time that Messi has failed to bring his Barcelona form to the national team — in fact, it is one of the most cited criticisms against the Ballon d’Or winner.

“People say he lacks the support he gets in Barcelona,” argued obscure football blogger and Argentina native, Mateo Tagliatelle. “That’s nonsense. While it’s true that in Barcelona he has legendary players like Xavi and Iniesta behind him, we shouldn’t forget that in the national side he has veritable maestros like Biglia, who plays for some club or other, and um, what’s-his-face…you know, the little bald dude with the Padawan braid? he’s sorta good too.”

To make matters worse, Messi’s utter incompetence during the final match seemed to be contagious from start to finish, as he was undoubtedly responsible for both Higuain and Palacio squandering the best chances either team had in the game.

Not everyone has jumped on the hate train though; earlier this week, Argentina coach, Alejandro Sabella, went on record to defend his star player, claiming that the nervousness from playing in the final was to blame for his lackluster performance.

“I instructed his teammates to stand around like cones when he got the ball so that he would feel like he was back in training and relax a bit,” Sabella said. “In the second half I even made crappy substitutions and questionable tactical changes to try and encourage him to carry the team all by himself, but he didn’t take it very well.”

And recent reports claim that it is no longer just the final which Messi has to answer for: the Barcelona star now stands accused of having a woeful campaign in general after scoring only four goals throughout the tournament — well below the expected triple digit count, and 2 behind top goalscorer James “it’s pronounced Ha-mess” Rodriguez.

To add insult to injury, not once did he replicate Maradona’s dazzling run against England from ‘86 — and let’s face it, wasn’t that the only reason why any of us sat through Argentina’s dreadfully boring games?