[Tinder] Patricia

August 27th

Me: im running a bit late, could we do 1:30 instead?

Her: oh, if you have other plans we can raincheck, its okay.

Me: nope, actually im on time- see you at 1!

I was fucking tired. Standing at a burger king queue, i was dazed, jet lag is really killing me, it’s a weird limbo between being ill, tired and sleepy. I was meeting a girl we’ll call Patricia. Super nice girl, no glaring downsides just seems to be a really nice girl. We’re having coffee.

We decided to meet at the coffee place that i typically go for. I usually opt for the drinks+ southbank walk, but that will be coming later today so i wanted to vary it slightly.

She walks in. Standing at a cute 5'4, she was sporting a maroon top, jeans and brown shoes- literally same colour scheme as what im wearing. I take a mental note.

We start talking, she seems nice and calm- a huuge change from yesterday’s date. I call the waitress over. She quietly says she has something to tell me. At this point im a bit cautious. I just met her, what the hell is she gonna tell me?

Is she gonna politely say ‘sorry i have to go’ (really?)

Is she gonna say ‘im sorry, im actually a man.’ (Three weeks in the philippines will do this to you.)

Is she gonna say ‘sorry you’re not my type’. (5 minutes into the date…?)

Then this is how the conversation went, semi-verbatim.

Her: i just wanted to be honest, so actually before we matched, you were actually talking to my friend before…

I didnt understand. Did she mean the patricia i spoke to before, was another girl?

Her: no, i mean you matched with my friend and then matched with me after… She said you stopped talking to her so thats okay. She was really into you!

Me: wait, what’s your friend’s name?

Her: ParrotGirl.

Ohhhh. ParrotGirl! If you havent been closely following my adventures, this is the girl i was skyping that i had to fake a phonecall from my housemate so i can get out of the conversation. She was boring me to death. Lovely girl but not for me.

After that we just carried on talking as normal, she seems like a really fun girl and well mannered.

She told me a tinder story, a month ago she went on a date, her date took her to kensington for dinner. While walking around they saw an ice cream place. They get ice cream instead. Walking around more they found a food market. They went there. I mean, if it was a fun, vibrant date that would’ve been a great idea for them, But she’s not that type of girl, a sit down coffee or dinner is much better. Anyway that tanked. Apparently the guy also ate some of her ice cream.

Seriously, keep lowering the standards so when i roll in, its easy mode!

I guess we’ll go for a second date.