Debrett’s Guide to digital love — no longer just for the “disturbed”

Love has evolved since 1769 when Debrett’s, the luxury lifestyle brand, began publishing its quintessentially British guidebooks on manners and etiquette.

Today Debrett’s guide has kept pace with our digital world and remains the go-to source on etiquette, from table manners to text messaging and, yes, online dating.

Read more: Debrett’s Guide to etiquette bridges the digital divide

So what advice does Debrett’s offer for the brave world of online dating?

Welcome to online dating

According to Debrett’s, online dating is no longer “the exclusive realm of oddballs and the downright disturbed”.

Nope dating apps like Tinder and Bumble, as well as more traditional dating sites like eHarmony give: “the ability to pick and choose without having to meet a multitude of no-hopers.”

“Choosing your date in much the same way as you pick dishes from a menu lacks the finesse and subtlety of traditional courtship, but it opens you up to a world of possibility unavailable through conventional channels.”

So what are Debrett’s top tips?

Crafting the perfect profile

The first hurdle when it comes to online dating is always crafting the perfect profile.

Which photos to choose? Which witty anecdotes to include in your profile? How best to present yourself in the very best light?

“Honesty is always the best policy: being creative with photographs or profiles will lead to eventual downfall when you meet in the flesh,” says Debrett’s when it comes to profiles.

“Steer clear of clichés and innuendo, aim for wit without sarcasm, and avoid excessive modesty as this will invariably backfire.”

And obviously use the very best photograph you have: “it’s a competitive world in cyberspace, and to succeed you have to sell yourself.”

Conversation-time

So you’ve finally found a match, now that awkward first conversation.

“Keep initial approaches brief and light-hearted,” says Debrett’s.

“Officially it’s rude to ignore overtures, so a brief response is always appropriate. If you reach a stalemate with someone, tell them rather than ignoring them.”

“Not everyone will abide by the rules of the game, though, so if you are ignored by someone you’ve taken an interest in, give up graciously after two messages are left unanswered.”

Embrace the future

In the brave new world of online dating Debrett’s says women should not necessarily assume a man will always be the one to ask for that first date.

“If you wish to turn an online interest into reality, one of you must take the leap of faith and suggest meeting in the flesh.”

Once you’ve secured an in-person date the rest is up to you (or take a look at Debrett’s guidance for first dates).

Hopefully with Debrett’s help you can leap into love with a little more confidence.

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