After 7 years of teaching English to post-secondary students in France, and more than 800 hours of working one-on-one with learners from around the world, I’m more convinced than ever that I have a huge role to play in a good conversation.
… but it’s not the role you may think!
Speaking in your 2nd Language: A Sign of Bravery
Reading in your second language is not particularly stressful. Oh sure, there are still vocabulary words that you don’t understand and you have to find the balance between (a) looking words up to ensure complete understanding and (b) feeling the need to look up too many words and losing interest.
Still though… you can generally read at your own pace; there’s not a huge amount of pressure.
Speaking, however, is another kettle of fish (a different situation) altogether!
When you speak, there is usually someone standing in front of you, waiting for you to start, or finish speaking. That fact alone, causes you to feel stressed.
What happens when you feel stressed?
- You forget words that you usually know.
- You forget grammar rules or structures that you usually don’t have a problem with.
- You wish you could stop the conversation and start again from the beginning (or worse… you wish you could simply disappear).
Starting — or continuing — a conversation in your second language, is courageous.
The Bridge Analogy
I like to think of conversation as a bridge: You’re on one side of the bridge, I’m on the other and the bridge is the language we use to communicate.
- If I spoke your language perfectly (eg. Turkish), I could simply cross the bridge and visit you on your side.
- If you spoke my language perfectly (English), then you could just cross over and meet me on my side of the bridge.
Problem #1:
I don’t speak Turkish… at all… not even a bit, so in one way, I’m forcing you to speak my language; to cross over to my side of the bridge.
Problem #2:
You don’t speak English perfectly (yet! 😉)… so you are unable to cross over and visit me on my side of the bridge.
- How will we ever meet and enjoy the pleasure of getting to know each another? … or in a work context,
- How will we agree on terms and finalize an agreement?
The only way, is for me to meet you in the middle of the bridge… that is possible!
… but what does it look like?
Meeting in the Middle
To meet you in the middle of the bridge, I ask you to use whatever level of English you have and begin to move toward me. You may have imperfect vocabulary, imperfect verb conjugation or imperfect grammar structures, but that’s OK, do what you can.
Then, for my part, I also begin to move toward you:
- I hear your attempt at choosing the right vocabulary word. If it’s not perfect, I try to guess what you mean so I can understand you.
- I hear you use an imperfect verb tense and I focus on the meaning of the verb you chose. I then try to approximate what verb tense you meant.
- I hear you use an incorrect grammar structure and I “read between the lines” (I try to guess what you mean)… perhaps I may even gently offer you a suggestion.
The point is… you are not completely alone in trying to ensure that communication happens. You do what you can with imperfect English, and I use my stronger knowledge of English to help fill in the gaps.
If we work together, we can communicate: I get to understand more about you and you get to understand more about me.
When that happens… language has served its purpose: Congratulations!
Simply Put:
- First-language English speaker: Don’t expect the English-learner to do all the heavy lifting. If you do, and if they’re unable… you may miss out on a wonderful friendship or a profitable business relationship. Meeting them in the middle is the least we can do!
- English-learner: Please don’t think that your imperfections make communication impossible. In many cases, your English is far better than we English-speakers’ knowledge of your language. —
- English-learner (bonus): Don’t forget that often, in international business, you’ll be speaking to other people for whom English isn’t their first language either. They may be just as intimidated by you as you are of them! 😉
So… What’s my Role?
My role, as the first-language English-speaker, is not simply brutal correction; pointing out your errors and shortcomings.
At the very least, my role is to compassionately offer you suggestions to help you make fewer mistakes next time… in a way that your comfortable with and that best helps you learn & gain confidence.
…but even more importantly, my role is to meet you in the middle of the bridge and show you that your skills are enough, for communication to happen… when we work together!
