How I became a Mingle Master

For most of my childhood I was a social misfit. I had zero social comfort, almost zero social awareness, and definitely very little social success. I was very good in school, pretty good in sports, and interested in things like Star Wars, collecting random things, watching the NFL and MLB on tv, and buying and selling baseball cards. I was the classic introvert.

When I got to college and started to consider different career choices, I realized that communication and social skills were key elements of success to just about every career that existed. So I set out to study and improve in these areas. I forced myself to take as many public speaking classes as I could get away with. I started having casual conversations wherever I went. I pushed the limits of my limited dating skills and started asking girls out in bold ways (at the gym, in class, randomly over the phone, etc.). Boldness was the first social skill that I really began to master, so I was much better at making the first move than being a good date once I did get them out. But I pressed on with my study.

By the time I was out of college, my communication and social skills started to come together. I was practically a public speaking major. I was comfortable talking to strangers and being at ease in social situations. I started getting better at knowing what to do AFTER I got a girl to agree to go out on a date.

But there was one problem.

Now that I was out of school, opportunities to easily find social situations was drying up. I became immersed in my career. Most people my age were getting married and disappearing from the social scene. To put it simply, my study of the secrets of social success was almost completely put on hold.

Fast forward many YEARS later. While still fascinated with communication and social skills, I hadn’t intentionally done much studying in these areas (other than a girl inspired study of the dancing and social skills associated with hip-hop clubs. Mastered just in time to be too old to go to them anymore).

And then it happened. The spark that made my study of communcation and social skills ramp up again. This time to a level that it had never reached before.

To make a long story short, a friend of a friend was having serious social skills problems. He basically sucked at talking to people in most social situations: the dating process, social settings, talking to strangers, etc. In the time or two that he and I interacted, the subject somehow came up that he was having serious problems with social skills. Probably not even thinking about what I was saying, I offered to help him. He accepted.

Over the next year or so, I got serious about helping this dude with his communication and social skills. I took him out in public and gave him challenges and tips once a week or more. The more I did it, the more I became fascinated with the topic.

After a while he seemed to really be helped by my challenges and tips, and he suggested that I take my ideas public. So I compiled a list of 101 mingle tips and started asking a few people if they were worth publishing.

After a little encouragement, I created a website called TheMingleMaster.com and a Twitter page dedicated to the study and teaching of communication and social skills.

And now, my friends, I am convinced more than ever that communication and social skills are CRUCIAL if you want to find success and happiness in the world as we know it. So my study continues.

If you ever get the feeling that better communication and social skills in some area (dating, career, general social situations, etc.) would make your life more enjoyable or better yet, TRANSFORM it, feel free to give me a look. If I did it, you can definitely do it. I promise you, I won’t be shy about trying to help you out.

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Say hello on Twitter at The Mingle Master or at TheMingleMaster.com