The Unwinnable War

As the couch swallows my ambition, I am at war with myself. It is a war I will lose. “I only have 30 minutes of shit to do today, I can lay here a bit longer.” But that planned 30 minute window somehow shrinks to 15, and the task doesn’t get done.

Too often I have a couple drinks after work, and get sucked into technology and a late bedtime. I wake up too early and too groggy. And then the couch get’s me.

I’ll just take a quick nap to catch up.

It sounds so reasonable, that nap.

I need to be rested for my workout. I need to be sharp and focused at work.

But the nap turns into a semi-conscious book or TV binge, filled with a semi-present self loathing.

I feel like shit. I’m just tired. I need to rest. But damnit I need to get up and kick some ass!

But I don’t. I lay there, tired, and only getting more tired. Until I get off work, high from the rush, and yes I’d like to get a drink! And the cycle repeats.

But most days I escape that well of gravity. I choose to charge before my eyes even open. I hit the ground with a purpose. The world is mine. The task doesn’t matter. I have avoided the unwinnable war.

Originally published at on October 27, 2015.

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