7 August 2016

FEAR — I thought I was aware of how much fear affects our bodies and yet I have been somewhat ‘gobsmacked’ by how much my mental state is affecting my body at the moment. It is a long time since I have felt as ill as I do now, indeed I like to go around saying ‘I’m never ill.

From a small child I have been writing and hoping that one day I would have something published. Now I realise that this has merely been a ‘pipe’ dream, one I never wished to come to realisation. The reason I do not send my work away despite buying an up to date Writers and Artists Year book every year, is because I genuinely don’t wish for my work to be published. Who knows? — perhaps I was burnt at the stake in a past life for what I d either preached or written!!! I can tell myself “well might as well send it off, it’s unlikely to be published anyway” but the ‘what if’ question pops into mind.And this attitude prevails despite the fact that for many years now my mantra has been the Susan Jeffers saying ‘Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway’.