Don’t judge my child (thanks very much).
There are lots of firsts in your child’s early years – first smile, first roll, first word – they all jumble up over each other and no sooner have they learnt one skills then they’re on to the next.
It’s a whirlwind of excitement and anticipation for parents, but it can equally be one of anxiety and dread caused by the world of competitive parenting.
I honestly believe that no one means to do it, but in their enthusiasm to share their little one’s latest achievement they are failing to register amongst the congratulations the parents who merely smile or remain silent. The parents who dreading the moment when the conversation turns to them.
It’s an awful feeling. That one where you come out of your bubble to realise that everyone else’s child can do something that yours can’t. And it’s happened to me this weekend.
We were out as a family for lunch. The meal was over and my son was tired of sitting still and the place was relatively quiet so we let him roam. As he crawled away, another mother, totally unprompted asked me if he was just being lazy?
It took me a moment to register what she meant. What she meant was, why isn’t he walking?
Of course I smiled and said some platitude. Inwardly I was devastated.
I was surprised by how much a comment from a complete stranger effected me. A million thoughts have run through my head since then.
It’s true. We all learn at different rates but it’s that nagging feeling that your kid is lagging behind. The feeling that makes you question your confidence in your abilities as a parent.
A chat with my mother put it in perspective for me when I shared my worry. “Darling. How many grown men do you see crawling to work in the morning?”
Of course. She was right. And she made me smile by putting that image in my head. But more than that she made me realise that my son’s development is something to be treasured not worried over.

