The Alphabet of Parenthood

A friend challenged me to do an A-Z of parenting and what it means to me. It’s taken me a few weeks to get a moment, but here it is.

A great reflective exercise to do at any point in your parenting journey.

So here’s my mind dump! Hope you enjoy my little bit of mindfulness. Nothing very profound.

Have a go yourself.

Katy

A

Amazing. It sounds like a cliche but there really isn’t anything like bringing a little person into the world. Every day they change and grow. Become some special individual that have the honour to get to know.

B

Breast feeding. This is something that doesn’t come easily. People seem to think oh it’s a natural thing .. but even with my second baby I found it takes at least 4 weeks to get into some kind of flow with it and to work out what position or boob the baby will feed from.

C

Careful. I’m forever telling my toddler to be careful. He’s so precious to me and a million worries go through my head when we’re in a car park or walking down the street. I spend a lot of time saying don’t walk in the edge of the pavement whilst maintaining a calm exterior.

D

Development. I’ve learnt not to measure my children’s progress against others. But it is hard. Really hard not to. Our current focus is potty training with the toddler. I know he’ll get there but as a parent we do measure our success based on that of our children.

E

Education. Until I had kids I didn’t dwell much on education and certainly not in relation to preschoolers. But there is a whole Early Years Framework they combines learning and play. Worth reading up on https://foundationyears.org.uk/eyfs-statutory-framework/

F

Friendship. Your social interactions tend to change once you have a baby. You’ve got your new friends – other mums or dads on maternity leave at the same time who are your comrades in arms. Get out there. Meet these parents. It’ll make things so much better when you’ve had a bad night or day to have that voice of reassurance say, “Me too. Here have some cake.”

G

Gross. I think within the first few weeks of parenting you’ll be covered in every liquid that can come out of your baby. Oh and your own breast milk if you’re breast feeding. You develop a fortitude to what would have previously turned your stomach.

H

Home. Truly home is where the heart is. My family. My boys. They’re my home. I know we ca get through anything together from the warmth of a family snuggle.

I

Individual. There are definitely times when you feel you’ve lost who you are as an individual. You’re just a mum. Just a milk bag and nappy changer. No. That’s not true. I know that I’ve got this precious time with my boys. When being their mum is more than enough. The rest of my work career and evenings out are just on hold for now.

J

Justified. In eating all the cake. Especially in the first few months. Plenty of time later to worry about the figure. I’m pretty certain my babies like something squishy to snuggle in to.

K

Kicks. What is it with the flailing legs and head butts? All accidentally delivered but sooooo many bruises.

L

Love. It’s just overwhelming. It catches you surprise all the time. You glance over at this little creature or not so little toddler and you feel immersed in love for them. Conversely there are times when you don’t like your child too 😂

M

Money. Maternity Leave. I’m lucky. We can afford between my job and my husband’s to have a full year for maternity leave. I know I am so blessed to have this and want to ensure I make the most of this time together.

N

No. I challenge everyone to say No less. It doesn’t always mean saying yes. Instead look at the request or the opportunity another way. What could you do, what could be done instead? Makes for less arguments with toddlers and life more fun.

O

Oh no! Shortly followed by a loud thud or crash. Then silence. Just remember. Deep breath. And find a calm place before discovering what’s just happened.

P

Poop. There’s no getting away from it. You’re going to become a poop expert. You’re going to wipe a lot of bums. And poopsplosions- they are crazy and sometimes you’ve just got to dump that outfit and wrap your baby in a blanket till you get back home 🤷‍♀️

Q

Queen. Truly you are the ruler of your world. No one else. It might feel at times that everyone wants a piece of you and you’ll never pee alone again. But how you see yourself and your life that is in your control. You don’t like something. Make that change.

R

Recycling. Basically babies and associated products are really bad for your carbon footprint. Do what you can – cloth nappies, washable breast pads, wooden rather than plastic toys. Little steps will lead to a greater change.

S

Sleep. Surprise. Yes, you’ll be surprised at how little and interrupted sleep you can work with. And sleep training. Well every baby is different and at the moment I’ll happily co sleep with this squidgy bundle. But I know the time is coming to transition into the cot. My heart hurts a little at the thought.

T

Time. It passes so quickly. My first boy turns 3 in a few days. What? How?! I want to hold onto and cherish all these childhood days. One day they’ll be grown men striding through the world. Will they need mummy then?

U

Undone. Some nights when the baby has a cold and it’s 3am and you’ve already been holding him upright for half an hour and your arm has gone to sleep. It’s hard. You’re sad and tired and undone. But. The morning comes. The baby smiles. And somehow it recharges your

V

Very. With toddlers there seems to be a lot of very … tired, hungry, sad, happy. They can all happen in the space of ten minutes too. A whirlwind of emotions to ride through. Hold on mum. Tight.

W

When. To have kids, to have the second or more kids. So when two becomes three… or four. I’m going to be honest… life does change when you have kids. It has to doesn’t it and in fact you want it to .. otherwise why would you be having kids and changing the status quo? And going from one kid to two. Yup. Another game changer but you adapt and the kids adapt and soon it all gels once more.

X

Extremes. A warning. Google and social media are both a blessing and a very dangerous place. You’ll find extremes of opinion and not everything you read will in fact be accurate or true. Also. It feels like everyone has an opinion! So tread carefully.

Y

Yes. Say yes to things. You might feel like you can’t leave the house. But honestly going for that coffee or to rhyme time or having that friend over may seem daunting. But try to push through and say yes. You’ll be benefiting yourself if you do.

Z

Zzzzz. Because you’ll never get enough I recommend sleeping any safe way you choose. And co sleeping is safe if done correctly and can mean the difference between some sleep and no sleep. Be kind to yourself.