Missing “Sweep It Under The Rug” Gene Diagnosed: Unmedicated WASP to Lead Political Coverage

In pursuit of a lifelong dream to chronicle his achievement of the pinnacle of “Haute WASP-ness,” LibertyPell editor, Easton Butler Fearing Bull, subjected himself the full battery of White Anglo-Saxon Protestant screening measures.

Though he achieved heretofore-unmeasured scores in such disciplines as fox hunting, obscure bat and ball games, boarding schools, cluelessness, noblesse oblige and Locust Valley Lockjaw, to say nothing of a perfect score in the gentlemen’s club category, he came up short on one important aspect of the genetic test.

Easton Butler Fearing Bull is entirely lacking in the all-important “sweep it under the rug” gene.

This is the gene that has evolved over millennia as the survival mechanism to keep the snot nosed from being pitch forked to death by those they refer to as the unwashed.

The very lack of any semblance of a filter makes Easton Butler Fearing Bull uniquely qualified to lead LibertyPell’s political coverage though the election. He lacks any ability to sweep it under the rug.

Join us for our opening interview.

LP — That is a lot of names. What would you like us to call you?

EBFB — I prefer Mr. Bull but my friends call me Butler.

LP — What do you think of the remaining candidates for President?

EBFB — Well, there are five left. Three are actively hated by a majority of the voters. One is not even a member of the party that might nominate him, describes himself as a socialist and might be showing signs of dementia. The fifth cannot win but is either the best liked or the least hated.

I’d say that is a fine piece of work by the Democrats and the Republicans.

LP — Do you see a solution?

EBFB — Pop that silly democracy balloon. It doesn’t exist anyway. How can we pretend voters have free choices when we get them to make those choices by lying to them?

Free college?

A beautiful wall? Don’t be silly.

LP — What do you think of the two political parties?

EBFB — They don’t exist. They are roving bands of anarchists who get together once every four years and pretend to be unified. Otherwise they are just local mobs clinging to state election laws, keeping people off the ballots, and designing safe Congressional districts for inept toadies.

LP — Are you suggesting that democracy isn’t working?

EBFB — I am suggesting that democracy doesn’t exist. This country is not a democracy and never was. It is a republic and a republic is “a form of government in which power is explicitly vested in the people, who in turn exercise their power through elected representatives. Today, the terms republic and democracy are virtually interchangeable, but historically the two differed. Democracy implied direct rule by the people, all of whom were equal, whereas republic implied a system of government in which the will of the people was mediated by representatives, who might be wiser and better educated than the average person.”

LP — Care to join me for a conversation on any of several dozen college campuses about “representatives, who might be wiser and better educated than the average person?”

EBFB — Well they are. Get over it. [Disclosure: I own stocks in the manufacturers of portable safe spaces that can be installed here and there as needed by whimpering children and in medicines administered for micro-aggression therapy.]

LP — Thank you Butler. I look forward to continuing our conversations.

EBFB — That’s Mr. Bull to you.

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