Ceci n’est pas un portrait
The story of a highly sensitive millennial lost in translation in an ever connected world.
I’ve been a reader on Medium for quite some time now and frankly, I would have never pictured myself being on the other side of the spectrum one day, publishing my own story. Just like I never pictured myself living in 4 different time zones, surviving a “historically” powerful blast, or even changing directions at 30.
Then again, what would be the point of life if we had the full picture?
⏪ * Fast Reverse * ⏪
Born and raised under the warm Mediterranean sun and cradled by ancient Cedar trees, I come from a land whose heritage is as old as time itself and where every stone whispers tales of civilizations long past. I left my home country 10 years ago and have been learning ever since, embracing the weight of clashing emotions towards a land that has been drowning in a tumultuous sea of conflict for as long as I can remember. I find myself standing at the crossroad of love and despair yet armed with 2 superpowers that could not but be passed onto me: generational trauma and resilience.
Growing up as an only child in the early nineties, before the IoT (Internet of Things) took over, I was naturally predisposed to being an introvert. I spent large amounts of time daydreaming, questioning, and reflecting on any imaginable thing (I still do). Spending so much time having to entertain myself, explore my own interests and examine my own internal experiences, I developed a sense of independence quite early on and this aloneness paved the way for diverse creative pursuits that helped feed my infinite curiosity. I can still smell the wood burning at the thought of my old pyrograveur (that once was the coolest tool I ever owned). Later I had my first encounter with computers thanks to my alien friend Adibou and to MS Paint, it was real.
⏩ * Fast Forward * ⏩
It’s 2009, the year technology officially changed us humans. Smartphones are the new standard and through them we’re connected to each other and to the Internet like never before. We constantly carry tiny computers around, feeding the Internet real-time info about our lives. Facebook is relatively new, Alexa is just a pretty name and Mobile Apps are in the midst of a baby boom. As for the local dynamics, the keywords for the past few years revolve around tension, assassination, corruption, protests, and resilience.
In 2009 I’m 18 and as per social norms, it’s time to go to college. That being said, the teenager I was had to choose a career path and had to somehow commit to go in a certain direction (what do teenagers know about commitment?). Back then though, I had an obstinate determination to pursue a career in Interior Design as I always felt drawn to color palettes & materials, I always loved visualizing and creating aesthetically pleasing spaces and I always found pleasure in creative problem solving. Having no plan B, I spent the next 5 years immersed in everything-Interior Design (spending a year in Italy along the way) until I was a young adult, holder of a Master’s degree and ready to start my career. Little did I know about the harsh realities of the corporate world and everything it entails.
From there on I’ve had a string of jobs in all possible areas of the field: from design consultancy to strategic visual merchandising to then procurement all the while taking a few personal freelance projects on the side. Through it all I’ve had the opportunity to be exposed to a multitude of people in a multitude of environments. So much “human data” to learn, learn from, work with and work for. Needless to mention the diversity of skills these experiences have allowed me to acquire, both soft and hard.
⏩ * Fast Forward * ⏩
It’s 2019 and the world has been on a roll of phenomenal innovation. The transition to mobile is official with 4G, AI is on the rise, Alexa now lives in the Cloud where she’s constantly happy to help and Mobile Apps are on a mission to continue transforming all the ways we move, eat, shop, and communicate. As for the local dynamics, a decade later the keywords revolve around corruption, revolution, tension, financial crisis and resilience.
In 2019, I’m 28 and I’m definitely going through a quarter-life crisis. At the time I was residing in the city of Dubai, a city that was once a desert and that had now boldly erected into a luxurious concrete jungle. A city that knows only 2 seasons, where I spent half the year indoors and where everything was accessible to me at the touch of a button, literally. The latest innovation I had heard about back then was CAFU, an on-demand fuel delivery service that allowed you, from the comfort of your home, have someone come refill your tank. I remember asking myself where one draws the line between technology making lives easier and laziness.
By 2019, though I initially had planned to only stay for a year or two, it had been 4 and a half already. Through the years, I found myself refueling on monthly adventures through the majestic landscapes of the Sultanate of Oman, weekly trips to garden centres & used bookstores, and daily self-explorations on my yoga mat. As for my creative pursuits, I explored acrylic on canvas, watercolor and murals, because why not.
Despite those soul-filling routines, for some reason I felt like I was living under some kind of massive superficial dome, on auto-pilot. Then came the straw that broke the camel’s back.
Is this the life I want for myself? (Not really)
Am I still happy with my commitment to this career path? (I don’t think so)
What difference am I making in the world? (None, really)
I miss Fall, I live for Fall. Why am I here? (I don’t know but things need to change)
Come December 2019, my bags are packed, I’m ready to go.
Yes, I was leaving on a jet plane except I knew I’d never be back again. The island of Sri Lanka was calling so I answered, fully aware that I was embarking on an adventure into the unknown. Little did I know how fertile the ground for personal growth would be out there, and little did I know that the entire world would completely go on hold. But one thing I knew for sure: nothing was going to hold me back.
⏩ * Fast Forward * ⏩
It’s 2021 and humanity is still profoundly impacted by the unprecedented scale of COVID-19. AI is now multi-skilled, Facebook is now Meta and has ambitions to grow beyond social media by taking human connections to the metaverse, a virtual reality living sphere. That same year a 12 year-old boy casually makes £290,000 after creating a series of pixelated Whales artworks and selling non-fungible tokens (NFTs). For the local dynamics, keywords I note are corruption, ammonium nitrate, tensions, protests, and resilience.
In 2021 I’m 30 and the last 2 years have been nothing short of a roller coaster ride, full speed. A ride through which I got to live (and be locked down) on an avocado-shaped island by the Indian ocean for 7 months. One where I got to listen to fascinating stories of people of all ages, colors, origins and beliefs but also one where I got to eat mouthwatering fruits every morning, live to the island rhythm of the sun, the moon and the tides all the while painting a few murals and creating inspiring digital content as part of the job I had taken at The Lighthouse.
It’s in this same ride that my introductory statement about surviving a “historically” powerful blast comes in. This one forced me to reconsider my priorities and commitments (I had a way better understanding about the concept of commitment by now). I get one step closer to figuring it out when a few months later on a cold December night, I’m told by my computer geek cousin that I should get into UX Design “cause I’d be good at it”. Needless to say, I had no idea what those letters even stood for back then.
How you are and how you do things. You have an eye for it. You would love UX.
Infinitely curious, I naturally found myself diving into the basics with Don Norman & Steve Krug among others. My inbox was filled with endless newsletters and Figma was the new Paint. I then took on several MOOCs (Massive Open Online Courses) and as time went by I was amused by the amount of transferable skills there was between two completely different design industries. I then came to realize that en gros, both thrive to craft enjoyable and seamless experiences between humans and spaces, except one does it in physical spaces while the other, in digital ones.
In 2021, the age of remote-everything, I combine my will to specialize in my new found interest with my necessity to leave my home country again. I end up moving to Paris, where I work and study by enrolling in a 2-year Masters program in Interface Design & Communication. I’m back to the French education system, which stirred quite a few memories except this time the game was slightly different.
I was a millennial in a classroom of Gen Zs.
A generation of instant-everything who never got their hands on floppy disks or Paint. Old school had never felt so good.
⏩ * Fast Forward * ⏩
It’s 2023, life is on 5G and human activity is changing the climate like never before (then again you reap what you sow). As human birth rates seem to considerably drop, the digital realm on the other hand has never been more populated. Today we’re witnessing the explosive growth of Generative AI (Lensa, generator of the digital portrait above, was born this year), the Cloud is now home to a multitude of virtual “beings” and if you’re sick and tired of humans, chatbots now speak as eloquently and emotionally as them. As for the local dynamics, they’re pretty much the same.
Today I’m 32 and sometimes I wish I could grab a coffee with Alan Turing or John McCarthy (referred to as the “founding fathers” of AI) and discuss machines, humans, and modern life. I didn’t know who these people were before I landed in this program and embarked on a 2-year research, just so that I can write a thorough 100-page paper (Mémoire) and burn out twice while doing it. It took me some time to grasp the subject I wanted to write about with the amount of thoughts and information that were running through my brain, let alone the whole idea of getting back into the academic swing of things. I quickly figured it (and myself) out.
Intimacy
I wrote about Intimacy and more specifically about its mediation through Information and Communication Technologies. In my paper I explored the relationship between humans and these technologies and examined the new models of intimacy and interaction they have shaped in today’s attention economy. The work is based on the study of 2 digital spaces (espaces connectés): Hinge, a more “human” dating app and Replika, an AI companion “who cares” (more to come in other stories). I naturally questioned the associated socio-cultural, ethical, and psychological challenges. Little did I know how the journey to this paper would ignite a strong interest in writing.
The challenges were real but resilience was au rendez-vous.
That’s partly for the study part in a nutshell. As for the work, throughout this academic journey I wore 2 different professional hats. The first was one of a UX/UI intern at Kovalee (Lumos Apps at the time), a non-gaming App publisher. During my time there I got to experience first-hand the Hows and Whys of data-driven design through collaboration with data scientists and product managers to implement features for Peptalk, a daily motivational app among others in the Apps portfolio.
The second hat was one of an apprentice Product Designer at Beanstock, a startup striving to make real estate investment simple and enjoyable. During my time there, I learnt oh so many things about startups, real estate, product, people, collaboration, communication and most importantly myself. As part of a design team of 2, I took part and co-lead the process of building an App to help investors follow up and manage their investment projects, all the while rethinking and redesigning the whole product as part of a rebranding project (more to come in other stories). Through these projects I was able to put my skills at work and challenge myself mais pas que. That underlying interest for words was manifesting itself again as I constantly felt attuned to the design of how a product speaks. En même temps, I did spend the last 2 years researching and reading about the dynamics of communication. Am I getting another step closer?
“Be impeccable with your words” is the first and most important agreement as per Miguel Ruiz’s Four Agreements. Come to think about it, words have the power to reproduce an image, an idea, a feeling or an entire story. One word. So as humans (and designers), our power of creation begins with the word.
Food for thought, and for humans behind digital products.
⏭️ * Next Track playing * ⏭️
It’s Fall of 2023, my adventure as an apprentice comes to an end. This time the local dynamics give way to regional ones as neighboring countries officially declare a state of war. Once again I embrace the weight of those clashing emotions, and I can’t help but wonder what the keywords would be if I happen to be reading this and it’s 2033.
On this side of the spectrum, I take the time to tune in to the transitional rhythm of Fall, the time for nature and people alike to slow down (people could use a reminder to do so). As time goes by, my inbox remains full of inspiring newsletters, and I continue to feed my endless curiosity by exploring the many things that make me tick. After getting a taste of the BTS (behind-the-scenes) orchestration of our digital lives at the age of big data through the works of Dominique Cardon, entre autres, the latest topics of interest revolve around learning the ways to stand out in a world where everyone wants to stand out and the principles to build a more humane technology.
As I look for my next professional adventure in a life that’s ever-faster, with AI that’s ever-smarter and a job market that’s ever more demanding, I find myself floating in an Experience Paradox in this new career direction I have decided to take.
My seniority is somehow lost in translation.
It’s as if I was a piece of data navigating through an agitated sea of algorithms. I might not always know where I’m going, and I might get salt water in my face and up my nostrils, but there’s one thing I got to master in the last 15 years, and that’s to catch the darn waves.
If you made it this far, thank you for reading all the way through!
