30-Day Writing Challenge — Day 23
Technically, it is after midnight, which means it IS the 23rd. So I decided to write this 1000-word blurb because I actually have a lot more to say about this topic than I thought I would. So here goes…
April 23rd, 2016
A Family Member You Dislike
I have something to say about this one. Family isn’t defined by blood. Family is the people who help you through this life. The people who really care about you. And If you find a person in your life that doesn’t really care about you, who won’t help you however they can when you need it, cut them out of your life. You don’t need people like that, blood relatives or not. You deserve to be surrounded by people who care about you. End of Story.
That being said. I do have multiple relatives I don’t like: my biological father being the most predominant, my cousin whom I worked for one summer for and eldest sister. And one of my uncles. All of whom are just wretched people.
My biological father is an abusive alcoholic. Without going into detail, lets just say that man (and I use the term in it’s loosest sense only to describe him as an adult male) is responsible for the majority of my mental scarring due to numerous events in my early childhood. I refer to him by his actual name or as my biological father because I don’t see him fit to be called “Dad” and I don’t want anyone to confuse him with my Step-Father whom I completely respect and believe to be more of a real father to me than my biological father ever was.
My cousin. I worked with him one summer as a contractor. He fired me because I called him one night and told him I couldn’t come to work the next morning because I had just been mugged and was told by the police that it would be at least 5 hours before someone could come out to take my statement, and that was if they didn’t get any emergency calls. This was at about 9 at night and, at the time, I lived in a fairly rough neighborhood. So I immediately called him and told him I probably wouldn’t be able to come into work the next day. He immediately told me I was fired because he couldn’t rely on me. He then refused to pay me the hundred dollars he owed me for the previous day’s work. This is not how you treat family. Especially since this was the first time anything like this had happened while I worked for him. This was also the second chance I had given him since the summer prior to this he fucked me over for $20 worth of weed (marijuana). A whole other story I won’t bother getting into. Suffice it to say that he’s a self-serving ass-hole with whom I will not associate.
My other cousin, his sister, isn’t any better at all. She’s a liar and a theft and is completely incapable of accepting any personal responsibility for her actions what so ever. Both of them treat their mother (My mother’s sister / my aunt) like garbage. They take advantage of her without any remorse or concern for her wellbeing. My aunt is a good woman. Puts up with their bullshit because she’s a good person and takes responsibility for them because they’re her children, but the emotional toll it takes on her is pretty obvious. Even though she tries to hide it. I’m told that her youngest daughter isn’t much better, but I haven’t had much interaction with her at all, so for me to speak about her would be mainly second hand information. And since I prefer not to speak on things of which I have no knowledge through experience, I’ll leave that one alone.
As for my uncle (My mother’s brother)… Well, he’s a dick. And a liar. And a pompous, self-important, self-centered fucktard that expects everyone to agree with EVERYTHING he thinks and says. My memories of him are of pedantic “life-lessons” and broken promises to my mother. He’s the type of person that delivers the harshest punishment possible for the most minor of infractions. Even my mother has cut him out of her life and refuses to associate with him in any way shape or form. When you have 3 uncles and 4 aunts, as well as almost 20 cousins (like I do), you’re certainly bound to find more than just a couple in your own bloodline.
That being said, I want to reiterate my earlier point. Blood doesn’t make you family. Blood makes you related. Too many people put up with abusive bullshit because they think they owe something to someone simply because they’re related by blood. My ex-wife is one of these people. Her family is emotionally abusive and manipulative, and as much as she recognizes that, she refuses to sever ties to those toxic individuals. That may be one of the reasons she and I didn’t work out because I have a different mentality. I don’t believe that it’s necessary to associate with people who hurt you. Physically, mentally, or emotionally. You have a choice in whom you share your time with, and there are some people you’re just better off not having in your life. Blood kin or not.
I feel like there’s a lot of negativity in this post, so I want to finish off with something a little more up-beat…
I love my mother. We don’t always see eye to eye, and there are plenty of times in my life where we’ve butted heads on certain things. But she’s always been supportive of my and my goals. Even when she doesn’t understand them. She’s always been there for me to offer advice, a helping hand, or even just an ear to listen. She’s by no means perfect, but then again, who is? We all have our faults, even me. But for all our faults, I’m lucky to have her in my corner. I’m sure that were it not for her, I’d be just as horrible a person as the people I mentioned above. Or possibly even worse. For that fact alone, I thank her, and I love her.
I love you mom. Thank you. For Everything.
