We make them daily, multiple times a day. This morning I decided that instead of concentrating on the job hunt, I would sit down for at least one hour and write. I also decided to have a healthy breakfast instead of picking up a breakfast taco on the way back home from school drop-off. That was a tough one, but I overcame. I would be lying if I said I didn’t still want that taco.

Decisions can be easy and for the most part the ones we make on a daily basis are a no brainer. Of course I’ll decide to wear my seat belt when I get in the car. Of course I will brush my teeth in the morning. Have a cup of coffee. Decide to shower, etc. But sometimes there are bigger decisions that can impact our course of life.

Decisions that you will look back on and think years from now whether that was a good call or not.

I often think about how my life would have been different had I not married R. Had I stuck to my plan and taught high school English and worked towards my master’s. Would I have found my passion for people and marketing? Would I have been a published writer and reporter? Would I have felt fulfillment like I did in my previous jobs? Or would I still be teaching and looking forward to molding young minds. And do we make our own happiness regardless of the decision?

For a very long time I was unhappy with my decision to get married, have kids and stay home to raise them. As rewarding as it was for the kids, I felt no sense of fulfillment. My day was exactly the same every single day:

Wake up. Make breakfast. Drink coffee. More coffee. Get child ready for school. Work out. Pick up child from school. Make lunch. Playtime. Nap time. Dinnertime. More coffee. Bedtime. Repeat.

Then something shifted and I was placed back on the path I was supposed to be on. My brother and I recently visited a fortune teller and while he was more smitten by my brother’s destiny that he was of mine, he did offer up a nice nugget. This is a rough summary but he explained how are lives are aligned just so and we are meant to be on a predestined path God or a higher power placed us on. Sometimes we veer off course but God is always moving the chess pieces around in order for us to get back on track. Back on our true path.

Around 2010 when R first cheated on me, I decided I needed to get some work on my resume just in case… So I made the decision to go back to work. I started at a local newspaper in Virginia and after a year I realized that this is what I wanted to do. I became a freelance reporter and met so many wonderful people, listened to their stories and retold them to our readers. Eventually, I had another child, R cheated again, I found a more stable full-time position in marketing and then R cheated again. And he finally asked me for a divorce (that’s a condensed version but go back here for the deets). At that point, I was so settled in my career and was handling my work and life somewhat effortlessly and was ready to move away from the marriage. And I did.

At that point, I was ready to make my own decisions. Create my own life separate from him and it may not have been the most gentlest realignment, but I was shoved back onto my path.

Since then I made the decision to move myself and my children to Texas where I grew up. To surround ourselves with family and have a strong support system we all need. It was a hard decision to walk away from a job I loved. To take my daughter out of the school she had been at since kinder. To for one last time, lock the door to the place I had called home for 8 years. To wave one last goodbye to my neighbor and gather with my friends one final time before I left the area. But it was a decision that was easy to make, albeit a huge decision but I feel as if I am back on my path.

Things are falling into place like they never had before and my children are thriving and so am I. I may not have a job yet but I know the right one will come. For now, my one job is to help myself and my kids as we transition into our new norm.

Now about that taco…

Life after marriage… and other bad choices

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These entries have helped me cope through the murkiest parts of divorce but life is so much nicer and funnier on the other side.

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