NBA Opening Night Fashion Roundup
The NBA makes the NFL look like Little League when it comes to fashion.
Thanks to the usual free agency frenzy, social media, and the hilarious and seemingly endless #PettyWarz that such platforms allow for, the NBA has become a year-round sport just like the NFL.
Look no further than opening “day” of the NBA — the same day Game 3 of the ALCS and Game 4 of the NCLS were to be played — where it was nearly impossible to snatch anything about the pivotal games in both the AL and NL as timelines were flooded with downright giddiness over all things hoops.
Which brings me to what matters most (but not really): The fashion fire we all fully expected from the 2018 NBA season tip-off.
Marcus Smart
Bah Gawd! The only thing missing here was the People’s Eyebrow and “The Rock says, The Rock says” absolutely blaring throughout the arena as Smart made his tone-setting entrance.
While Smart finished with just 7 points, 3 rebounds and 3 assists, he would still very much like you to KNOW YOUR ROLE AND SHUT YOUR MOUTH.
Note: Right about now is where we stop kidding around for a moment because — per Jay King — Smart wore this outfit in tribute to his late mother, who “always called me her little king so I had to dress like one.”
Awesome. And he certainly did, right down to his shoes.
Russell Westbrook
Russ sneakin’ a snack and lookin’ pretty tame judging by his usual standards, but still on point as always.
Joel Embiid
Joel Embiid arrived to the arena staring down the world while wearing a Mona Lisa hoodie because Joel Embiid is a social genius.
But Joel, please do us all a great favor and call an emergency meeting with Under Armour.
Like, now.
What the hell are these? Complete abomination.
Jayson Tatum
An ensemble that was well thought out from head to toe. I need those Jordans — and that icy watch — like I need oxygen.
Confirmed: Tatum is going to have a monster season. I know, I know. Ballsy prediction.
Since we’re here, I’d like to strongly suggest that Jayson Tatum never, ever do this again.
Turtlenecks should honestly be outlawed.
Draymond Green
Draymond Green strolled up to Oracle Arena in the world’s most expensive pajamas lookin’ like he’s about to pick up the paper in his driveway.
And I fucking love it.
Jaylen Brown
That toiletry bag is pure trash, like something you might put a PB&J and a bag of chips in, but Jaylen makes up for it with the shirt and the Converse Off-Whites, although the pants swallowing up half the sneaker is not an ideal look.
Kevin Durant
Are there any clothes in this entire world that properly fit Kevin Durant? Does he simply not care? Or is this the look? Because those pants are a dumpster fire and that jean jacket would be better suited for Muggsy Bogues. Or me in 7th grade.
Ben Simmons
That olive jacket/olive hoodie combo is phenomenal — and probably cost him 5k — but the whole thing falls apart at those ill-advised sneakers. Would’ve been better off wearing Uggs up to his kneecaps.
Gordon Hayward
Understated outfit because Gordon Hayward’s notorious, glorious flow does all the driving.
Klay Thompson
This photo could seriously not be any more Klay if he tried. Also, the bowling shoes are a fiery 14/10.
Aron Baynes
Gah! A stylishly fitted shirt and a terrible man-bun.
Yet it somehow suits Aron Baynes. Because if you’re basically playing the role of antagonistic enforcer, I can think of no better way to troll your opponent than to top things off with a man-bun.
Dario Saric
Acceptable, I guess, but NOT for opening night.
Official Grade: F-
Kyrie Irving
Not really feelin’ this jacket at all and it doesn’t look like Kyrie is either. Oh well, only 81 games to go!
UPDATE: Kyrie went full Cam Newton with a feathery friend dangling from his ear. All he needs to do now is figure out a facial expression to go with it, because this “Xanax Takeover Face” ain’t working.
Loving the OBJ x Nike Air Force 1s, though.
For more thoughtful commentary and unwavering honesty, follow Tim Ryan on Twitter and Instagram. All previous NFL Fashion rundowns can be found right here.
