These NBA “Paysage Snapbacks” From Mitchell & Ness Are Great if Hot Garbage is Your Thing
Sports apparel company Mitchell & Ness is well known for putting out tremendous sports merchandise since basically the beginning of time, particularly when it comes to the NBA. But every so often an email lands in your inbox promoting some kind of special release that tragically falls directly on its face, resulting in a bloody mess and an audible gasp from unfortunate onlookers.
In this case, it’s a new line of NBA “Paysage Snapbacks” that don’t exactly have me excitedly clicking the “Add To Cart” button.
When one of your first thoughts that comes to mind upon seeing this special batch is “these kinda look like birdshit,” there’s no way in hell anyone over the age of five is seeing the same thing and shouting “yes, M&N has done it again!”
Of the 30 teams in the NBA, they thankfully only executed this “design” for 18 teams. Lucky them! Let’s go ahead and take a look at the very worst of the worst.
In no particular order of shittiness…
Orlando Magic
Since bird shit was the prevailing thought at first glance and remains the thought, we might as well start with what legitimately looks like a hat that got absolutely peppered by a family of pigeons who simply DGAF.
I really enjoy how, going across from left to right at the top, it spells out WOOM. Which makes about as much sense as producing this hat.
There’s colorful and flashy and then there’s 27 pounds of shit stuffed into a 5-pound bag. This, of course, would fall under the latter.
Miami Heat
What a rip-roaring disaster. Yet of all the strange things on display within this horrorshow — like what appears to be yellow pube trimmings at the top — doubling up the Heat logo on the crown of the hat managed to be the dumbest aspect here. Just incredibly stupid.
Seattle SuperSonics
As if the fine people of Seattle haven’t been through enough already, somehow the Sonics were included in this line. Are those lightning bolts at top right? Fuck this.
Simply put, if you get a Sonics hat, you get one of the original green and yellow beauties and that’s that.
Denver Nuggets
If laser light shows are your thing, this hat was specifically created to reside on your head, who sadly has no choice in the matter.
The more I think about these abominations, the more I’m realizing the unforeseen domino effect that Ugly Christmas Sweaters have created.
Unfortunate, because there’s really no occasion for this shit.
Atlanta Hawks
At the very top of the crown there’s literally a hawk spraying an endless sea of offensive bird droppings onto yellow pavement. I rest my case.
The full catalog of this mess can be found right here if you feel so inclined.
Plus, one of these bad boys will only run you $35 plus a minimum of $10 shipping. Now that’s one helluva heist.
