Your Free Social Media Risk Assessment: Hide from a Narcissistic Stalker Step 2
You’re Easy to Find, Lets Change That
Read Part 1 here:
Did you know:
“76 percent of women who are murdered by a current or former intimate partner are Stalked First.”
“In 2017 (in the U.K.)..a serial stalker had been able to arrive at bars before his victims”
How?
-their Social Media Posts.
Article Purpose:
- Identify what personal information can be gleaned from your social media
- Choose how much you want to be seen or hidden
- Employ OPSEC Principles to Increase Your Safety and Security
Target Audiences:
- Current Stalking/Abuse Victim
- Anyone who’s unsure how easy they can be found
Insta’s False Perception of Safety
“You can have my Instagram”
I’ve noticed people tend to give out their Instagram easier.
Our phone number is seen as “personal information”.
Sadly, Instagram can often reveal MUCH more.
Quick Reflection
Think about what you announce* and post on Your Social Media channels
- Your Birthday
(and all those in your family/friends that attend) - A new house/car
- Medical Diagnoses
- Hospital Visits
I won’t go into details, however, all of this can be used later on by someone willing, in ways you would not expect.
*I used to do all this too.
Until I dealt with my situation and social media was used to harass, locate and attempt to harm me.
Note for Non Victims:
If you are not in danger currently, I don’t want you to lose your mind.
The increased awareness this article brings will help you, if a stalking situation does materialize.
How?
You will be aware of how people glean information from what is known about you publicly.
At your discretion, you can start to reduce or eliminate what others can see.
Choice is Power.
Scary Real Life Examples:
- In April 2018, police in Florida went public about a man who could determine the home address of victims
(which YEARS LATER…he sent love letters too),
→from the information gleaned from their social media accounts.
Do you have to get rid of your social media, if your not a current Stalking/Abuse victim?
No, probably not.
Benefits of Increased Awareness
It may not hurt though to take a couple basic steps to prevent unwanted access to your life by strangers though.
Levels of Security and Risk Options
Below, I’ll show you a few examples and levels of security you can opt to take or not.
Creating Balance of Comfort and Safety
For example: That Hopping New Bar Last Saturday
What could a stalker (or just a casual stranger) possibly find out from a Picture of Food?
1. Your Weekly Schedule and Location
Maybe you go to a restaurant every Tuesday for a social/professional group (because every week, you post that).Potential Risk:
They can show up there and pretend like it’s a “coincidence”.Social Group Risk:
They may look at all the people you tagged,
the group information,
and use that in unique ways that are more malicious.
Side note:
→We often post pictures that have our house number on it,
our school, the name of the restaurant in the background and sometimes much more.
BASIC Risk Mitigation
-So you can stay connected to those you trust and safer from those you don’t:
- Make sure ALL your Social Media Accounts are set to “Private”
Ensure the account requires you to add people as friends/followers, so strangers just can’t see and follow everything. - AGAIN: Ensure that ALL your social media channels are set up like this (LinkedIn, Twitter, Tic Toc, Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, and the list goes on)
- Some channels allow you to create different viewing settings for different groups of people (work, friends, family)
- LinkedIn Allows you to choose what Non-Connections and The Public can see when your named is searched, among other privacy options.
Look at your: Settings, Settings, Settings (Privacy, security and data sharing options)
The worst offender in my opinion?
-Snap Chat
Why?
Wirral’s Safegaurding Children Partnership warns us that:
“The app’s location-sharing features like Snap Map can reveal users' exact locations”
in real time.
How can you protect yourself on snap if you decide to use it?
“USE ‘GHOST MODE’
We highly recommend enabling Ghost Mode on the app so that your child’s location will no longer be visible to anyone on the ‘Snap Map’.
To enable this, go onto the Snap Map and tap the cog in the top-right corner. Here, change the setting to ‘Ghost Mode’.”
-For those Wanting Extra OPSEC Security-
For Current Victims in Danger
⚠️These below steps are essential for stalking and dv victims to do
Best Policy: Disable/Turn Off ALL Your Social Media Accounts
(Including fitness app on your smart watch, smart home app, Alexa, that connect/update your location, activities)
If you Decide To Still Use Social Media
→Create a New Account
And follow these rules.
Not Your Name
a. Don’t use your name or limit to using your first name* in your social media accounts/handles
*unless you have a unique first name!
Don’t Connect Accounts
b. Don’t connect the social media accounts to each other when setting up new accounts (sometimes this allows them to share your posts in the other one)
Examples per Setting Up/Logging In:
Don’t link accounts together
-Medium allows you to connect your medium account to your twitter, with the same email (you can opt out of this)
c. Don’t “sync” your contacts either
Per Writing and Using Your Account
No Cross Posting
d. Don’t have Instagram post it’s picture on your Facebook, Twitter, etc and vice versa
No Marketing
e. Don’t list your other social media accounts under the “About Me”, “My other websites” sections
f. Don’t even have your websites or other handles them written or linked under your pictures either
g. Don’t use a picture of your face, or any picture they can look up, as your profile picture
Use a Separate email/Number
h. Don’t use the Same Number/Email You Give Out to Your New professional or personal Contacts.
If you do, your accounts will pop on on their apps, so you can both connect.
USE a VPN
i. The only security this offers for social media, is it will change the location that shown when you post.
⚠️A VPN will not protect you if your post*:
your name, new number and city..in a FB/Twitter or other group
*(which can be found easily on a social media channel by your stalker abuser)
- VPN’s don’t change the GPS on your phone, if your abuser put tracking apps on it
→Even More Social Media OPSEC/INFOSEC←
Even if you are not a victim currently, the comments on your posts and the information they reveal are important to be aware of.
⚠️Delete any comments on your posts or pictures of people writing your:
- Last Name
- Address
- Phone number
- Place of work
- School/Class/Professor name
- Weekly schedule/events
and anything else you don’t want to be found accidentally or intentionally.
More Privacy and Security Steps:
Your Apps, Connected Devices and more
(This applies to apps you download on all of your internet connected devices, the settings on the devices themselves and even your browser settings)
Long Term Impact
This level of OSPEC Implementation will help long term too,
by reducing the amount of information your share while online browsing/using the apps/devices.
Settings, Settings, Settings
Go through the “Settings” of every social media/professional account you have online.
Click on on the “Security” and or “Privacy” related option.
Look them up and down,
google search what they mean and the implications of the options,
and turn more off them off.
→Firefox and Brave are better for Privacy and Security Minded individuals
Location, Location, Location
Check what can track your location, and turn that off too.
Social Media and Stalkers Psychology
→The Psychology of Some Stalkers
Your Posts and Potential Triggers for Violence?
Why would they Get Angry Seeing you eating with your friends?
-Maybe you told them you had a family event,
and now they see you lied to them*
- *Not all people become violent when romantically rejected, but it does happen more often than we’d like to believe.
Studies show there’s a risk of violence that comes from rejection (including in marriage), take a quick look below
Rejection hurts everyone, but some people process it differently.
“These figures may underestimate the role of rejection
in dating violence-jealousy..
Feeling rejected is among the most common
precipitants in cases of husbands killing their wives
(Barnard, Vera, Vera, & Newman, 1982; Crawford &
Gartner, 1992).”
The other reason they may harm/kill you?
if the abuser/stalker fears you are about to leave them.
→This is why my eBook will cover how to escape, hide and remain unfound.
Quick Exercise:
I want you to think about what you or your friends post on Instagram/Facebook, Twitter and any other channels.
Think about how hard or easy it would be to find out where:
you work, live, bars/restaurants you frequent
In “A Guide to Technology Risks for Victims” Jennifer Perry explain how,
Social media posts can show:
“Your name and the names of family members and friends;
• Ages and Genders — of you, your children, or other family members;
• Identifying Information:
- birth year
-birth date
-city
-schools
-work
-clubs
It can also show:
Addresses:
This includes home and work addresses, as well as any other location
you visit regularly.*
Consider what information should be exposed if you are
announcing — or attending — an event for a birth, wedding, graduation*”
Points of Vulnerability
This article, is designed to initially protect you from being found.
But your OPSEC is only as good as its weakest point.
When the abuser/stalker searches your social media, even if your google results don’t show anything else,
Your or your friends posts could reveal information which allows someone to find your address, work or school.
“All the security precautions in the world mean nothing if your organization leaves the backdoor open…
which is becoming one of the most commonly overlooked components of operational security.
— Mike Baker, Founder of Mosaic451 cybersecurity firm
Whats your backdoor? Where are you weak?
Common Weak Areas and Mistakes
Social Media and Travel
Many post pictures of their plane tickets revealing:
-They won’t be at the house
-Where they will be (often the hotel they will be at and their room number)
Your New Car
- I had someone try to find out what car I drove, some they could look fro me after I got out of a music class I posted on my account
→The person saw my music website, and the car I was standing next to
Your Social Media Handles
What do your social media names say about you?
Does the URL have your last name?
Place of birth?
Birthday?
Even if your account is locked/private, the URL and your name/handle, may reveal more than you thought.
Sign In and Connected Accounts
Which Email and Number Do you use to Sign in?
(Yes, a REPEAT)
Have you noticed when someone gives you their phone number, their LinkedIn and Facebook accounts pop up?
This is because the number they gave you is the one they use to sign into their account.
Its also because you likely chose to ““sync accounts/contacts”.
The same happens on their end when you give them your number/email, that you use to sign in to your accounts.
Again, I’m NOT telling everyone, what they should or shouldn’t do.
I want you to have options and the ability to take control if circumstances change.
→If you’re currently a stalking victim though..I’m really pushing you to fix and change ALL of these.
Yes..It may mean getting rid of all social media.
That's the easiest and best.
However, if you’ve never dealt with stalking or domestic violence,
it’s still good to be AWARE of what information is out there about you.
The Last Step
Your Friends and Family’s Social Media
(for current victims)
Here’s where you will just want to quit and give up.
I don’t blame you.
The Challenge
If the stalker knows the names of other people you know, in short time, they will likely find pictures of you, locations you all go to and so on.
The people that you have listed as family. Or you’re married too-
what happens when you click on that profile, what information comes up?
Do you want that information to come up?
Again, its easier just to get off social media.
The other option, is to have a completely different name, have all the privacy options set to strict, not use a facial picture, and so on.
Otherwise, email and call/text
may-
be the best way to stay in touch with people.
Per your friends and family, show them this article, in case they need to get off social media too.
-The Tactical Victim-
It’s a Mindset, a New Way of Life 🔒
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Thank you all for your support.
