WELCOME TO MY WORLD
Mindfulness, Anxiety, DIY Recording, Depression in music
Hello Friends!
I thought it’d be cool for myself to start up a blog. I dunno what I’ll cover in it. Probably a lot of ramblings on the way the band works, what’s up with this infinitely long album release (it’s coming I promise!), shit I’m interested in like consciousness, dream states, our place in the Universe etc. Ya know that kinda stuff… not so much gossip. Eww, gossip. So yeah, WELCOME! Please share this if you like what I have to say or think anyone else can benefit from my words…. that makes me nervous… this whole thing makes me nervous.
Ok, I’ll start this one by answering (in more detail) as to why everything we do takes so fuuuucking long!
First for those who don’t know we are 100% DIY. I record mix and master everything you’ve heard. So with that in mind, enjoy!
In a nutshell I am a perfectionist. I know people say that can be a good thing but it’s also absolutely crippling. It leads me to bouts of depression and anxiety which in turn leads to extreme self doubt in my music and my ability to release this album. To me this is more than an album it’s my life for the past 3 years. It’s so fucking personal. I require every single aspect of each moment of the record to sound and evoke EXACTLY how I feel and hear it in my mind. If you’re a creative you too will know that this already means I’ve set my self up for failure. Shit you don’t even have to be a creative, it’s inherent in a lot of people. People who want “the perfect boyfriend/girlfriend/relationship” or “the perfect summer” or “the perfect night out” and when it turns out differently like it always does you get upset. I don’t suffer from the latter but artistically I do.
I am slowly releasing control of each second to just be how it is and taking extended breaks from each track helps me with that. These can be up to 2–3 months long without touching a song again… you can see how time is now building up very quickly seeing as we’re working on 12–14 songs. Plus the 10's and 10's I write for fun on my own plus the millions of b-sides. And then I realise that this project is coming up to 3 years old and some songs don’t fit with the new direction and sound of the album and again I doubt the project as being cohesive.
I am happy this time around, though very nervous, to be giving the tracks to an external party to mix and master! This takes a lot of pressure off but since I really want it to sound like it does in my head giving up control is tough… our sound is in the mixes and it’s because I’m not the greatest mixer but LL&TD is something I’m really proud of.
To put a tiny bit more perspective on it 3 of the the Love Life & The Devil tracks (Mosquitoes, Money Money Money and Ill Informed) were in their very very rough draft forms before FBT [PT II] (2010) was even released. Haha, I actually totally lost interest in FBT while working on those tracks because to me they were just so much better. Glad we managed to get it out though!
Lastly, I am incredibly nervous about what everyone will think of the new album. It’s truly a total detachment from anything previously released. I really really love it on a good day and then I think oh fuck this is too different but I can’t write the same sound forever. The normal ska-punk sound gets boring for me. I’ve written literally 100's of these songs and to me I’m bored of my sound…. the funny thing is no one else has even heard them so it’s just my personal turmoil that is holding things up. Ya know what? I’ll start releasing unfinished demos, rough recordings and old as hell songs for you to listen to. The first one can be found HERE!
On a really cool note we are filming the last shoot for our first ever official video clip in two weeks! It’s for a track called “8 Dollars” Get excited!
Wow, that was refreshing. I could write for days on this but I’ll end it here and come back to part II in a few days or a week or whenever, ya know.
Keep it rude everyone, love your life… even when it’s tough. We are lucky to be here, even if you hate it it’s pretty cool that the Universe grew you from the earth to even have that thought.
Peace!
Paul
Originally published at nightgaunts.com/blog on September 2, 2014.
