How I like my mango smoothies.

Tell this to your neighborhood smoothie maker

An exquisite succulent smoothie du mango.

Yo. This is my first time and may also be my last time to write something as unconnected, useless, and disengaging using this medium. (see what I did…) You can stop reading now, or keep going because it’s probably ending very soon.

I would first like to give a shout out to this font. It is beautiful. The next shoutout goes to the feeling of writing a document not on Microsoft Word. With this post I feel like I am directly changing the internet. It’s weird and doesn't make sense. Carry on.

The real reason for this post is mango smoothies. I like them. They are the only smoothie I get from coffeehouse. THE COFFEEHOUSE. They are the only drink I get from a coffeehouse. A COFFEEHOUSE. Also, they are good…most of the time.

If you've ever ordered a drink you know all drinks are not made equally. We can blame the drink, the barista/smoothie pourer or we can blame their managers who do a great job of making sure they all receive training to deliver a similar product. I will blame none. I will tell you what makes a perfect mango smoothie. Play the blame game elsewhere.

  • Well blended. The Big Fundamental. You put it in a machine, it better look like what they call it. No clumps. No lumps. No bumps. If so, me grumps.
  • The golden yellow ratio. Idk what they put in smoothies but there was that one time they didn't put enough of that fake naturally flavored mango stuff. Needless to say, that drink did not enter my digestive system.
  • Ice Ice baby. Yo its gotta be cold.
  • Pour it Up. There is a certain equilibrium at which putting on the cover of the recently poured smoothie does not create spillage. Find this equilibrium for yourself.

Applause for making it this far. Go Mango smoothies!

This was the first post that I wrote on Medium when I was testing it out in 2014 but was too self-conscious to share. That has obviously changed. If you have any dreams that are currently in draft mode, Hit Publish Now! Just Do it!