How to spot shit people? And why it is not important.
My wife had a stressful period at work and, being the great husband that I am, decided to ask what was the issue. Turned out that the boss is a Shit person in her words, after couple more questions and taking the role of devil's advocate, I tried to explain that he is more of an inconvenient person rather than a shit one. A couple of days later, this topic still has been brewing in my brain, so I decided to put it in writing. Hopefully, it will help somebody out there.
“Shit People” how do we end up around them? And what I would believe is our fault at large. This short article will be about a short journey in my brain, about how first impressions last, how we settle down with choices we made or more so the fear of getting out, and most important the end of the journey is the realization that laziness and lack of self-discipline are the primary factors of shit people appearing in your life.
First let me clearly define what I mean by shit people, please don’t go and label every inconvenient person in your life as a shit person, your whole world will become very stinky very quickly. My personal definition of a shit person would be, a corrupted person in their soul, the one that treats you nicely only to use you and to keep you numb to reality. In a way manipulative but at a higher level I would say deceptive, manipulation can be done with good reason in mind, deception is a pure lie.
Should you believe in people? If we would be able to spot shit people early, how would we go about it? What are the red flags? I’m afraid that these questions won’t have a straight answer, as people, situations and cultures are different, the only thing is fakeness, where values that they say are nowhere close to what they do. This takes time to find out. As a general rule shit people pray on two things weak and lazy, and both of those things are results of what we are and do. Being lazy is one’s fault just as being weak(not physical, but mental, being very agreeable or afraid to speak up)
All in all, we should not bother with how to avoid shit people, God himself couldn’t keep the snakes out of Edem. So the best solution would be not to emit a scent of laziness or weakness, and how not to emit this scent, well work on both of them.
Speaking from personal experience in how hard can be recovery from shit people, and how personal laziness is at fault. Personal laziness is the main root of all evil, that will bring you to shit people, and those two things will just spiral down your life into misery. And the longer both are together the harder it will be to come back from it. Shit people will use you and corrupt you, that will inevitably use your energy and an exhausted person is a lazy person, this is where the growth stops, that is very beneficial for the shit person, as your stagnation means that you depend more and more on them, giving shit people an increasing power over you, and the more you are around in that spiral the harder is to get out of it, just buried by laziness and shit. And it reaches the point where getting out alone becomes pretty much impossible, and you have to be lucky enough to have a person which will push you out. It is a rarity to find a person that knows who you are inside and that you are just accidentally on the wrong path. And that is usually a precious gift from above.
The following story is not an excuse it is just a circumstance, I was raised with strong people around me that kept me on my toes, I wasn’t asked what I want to do, I was told what to do, and those things were good for me it kept me straight. Just like a person in jail is told when to get up, eat and go to sleep. So soon enough when I had to take care of myself, without external pressure I got lazy. Because I was used to be told what to do, it did not require any mental force, so when nobody is watching and telling me what to do, I became lazy. That lazy transferred into lower grades, that transferred into lower attendance and just stopped giving a fuck, because anyway marks are low, meaning I’m no good. And nobody was near at that point to school me over less than average performance. And all this story ended up, with the final year, where I in a lazy fashion looked for a job, in a lazy way did my cv, and of course, good places saw through that laziness and never came back, and here enter the shit man himself.
Back to a new theory of how laziness brings shit people in your life, even if you are a good person inside. When you are lazy the only people that have interest in you the majority of times are shit people. The rest of the story is not for now, and frankly not important. The main point of this whole story is that once laziness becomes one with you, inevitably you will run into a shit person, that will take care of ruining your life for you, with all the benefits for themselves. This is the path to wake up in your late or mid whatever’ties, look around and here you go, so deep in the hole, that nobody wants you because you have no skill to offer, it is very hard to get up and start acquiring what is important to move away. And you cannot leave the shit person, why because you have obligations already too late, and the road out is steep and heavy.
When defining a Shit person I mentioned numbing to reality. The worst part is that shit people will be nice enough to you to comfort you down, so you never wake up to the reality, start working on yourself and move away from them, and second that keeps their image clean, one of the main things they care is how they are perceived. The worst part is you cannot tell them that they are shit, you haven’t worked on yourself to move on, how is that their issue? They gave you opportunity they took you under when you were at your low, they gave you food on the table and assurance that you are good enough. This is back to the point that Shit people in our life come down to personal mistakes, it is not the fault of the shit person that uses you, you allowed it, and for a period were happy about it. We are good to blame somebody, unfortunately, the majority of times we better blame the one we see in the mirror.
The road out of lazy shit town is steep, the longer you spent in it the more time you will need to come back from it. Too many things can be said about why this happens, and who is responsible overall for it, all of those things do not matter, at the end of the day, you will be responsible for your life, and how good or bad it is, rest is circumstances that happen to everyone, nobody is special, everyone has shit to deal with, people squat in the field. To end up with a quote I heard from Jimmy Carr, but originally coming from JK Rowling's speech, “There is an expiry date on blaming your parents for steering you in the wrong direction; the moment you are old enough to take the wheel, the responsibility lies with you.”
