WWE SummerSlam 2014 Predictions
Well, your boy is back with his predictions for the biggest party of the summer, the second biggest pay-per-view for the WWE, SummerSlam. There are nine matches on the card. One pre-show match (Of which I had no earthly idea where it came from or the premise) and eight main card matches. It has potential to be a great show. All of the matches have really good potential. I will put it this way: They will have to try to make this show bad. On that note, let’s get to it!
Preshow: Cesaro vs. Rob Van Dam.
Now, this match just got added on the show today. For what reason? I do not know. Cesaro has lost all momentum whatsoever since winning the Andre The Giant Battle Royal at WrestleMania. The dude basically did a remix of the Hulk Hogan/Andre The Giant body slam thing! Only he body slammed Big Show out of the ring. Now him and Jack Swagger are broken up, he’s no longer a Paul Heyman guy, and he’s now JOBBING to his former tag team partner, the aforementioned Swagger. The guy is so talented and so strong. It’s just baffling how him and Swagger basically switched places. Before WrestleMania, Swagger was jobbing to him. We The People… I guess. As for RVD, I don’t know why this dude is facing him. No feud to be known of… except that little thing in… Ah, who cares? It’s hard for me to predict this because marks love both of these guys. But in the preshow, generally, the good guy wins. So, that’s what I’m doing.
Prediction: Rob Van Dam wins.
Dolph Ziggler vs. The Miz (Champion) for the Intercontinental Championship.
For this match, I’m going to try not to let my personal feelings get in the way. I love me some Dolph Ziggler. He is cocky, confident, funny, and he reminds me of my favorite video game character. (Shout out to Sonic The Hedgehog) I even have his old shirt, you know the pink one? I never wore pink until I got that shirt. That was my second wrestling shirt I’ve ever had. The first was John Cena. Don’t judge. Anyway, when he turned babyface a couple of years ago, the crowd already loved him. Remember when he cashed in his Money in the Bank on Alberto Del Rio? That NYC crowd went apeshit. I wanted him to turn because I liked to cheer for the good guys. His recent downturn, after returning from a concussion really disappointed fans, including myself. He had a concrete shot at the Money in the Bank Contract… nope. Seth Rollins won. Now he is finally winning and he is getting a shot at the Intercontinental Championship. I REALLY want him to win this title. However…
As for The Miz, I actually liked him since his debut. “Can I get a Ooh-Rah?!” Remember that, people? Now he’s a ripoff Hollywood Rock. I keep waiting on him to blasphemously say: “FINALLY…” Nonetheless, he IS the Intercontinental Champion. He’s only been champ for a month now. So reasoning says: Why would you bring Miz back to win the title, just to lose it a month later? In conclusion, even though I want my boy Dolph to win, I think Miz will retain.
Prediction: The Miz wins and retains Intercontinental Championship.
Bray Wyatt vs. Chris Jericho
Now, this feud interested me at first, but it slowly dwindled down for some reason. I love Jericho, I really do, but these two really aren’t catching my eye for some reason. Bray Wyatt was once a top heel of this company before he faced John Cena. And to you marks, he beat him once. Steel Cage match. You can win by escape, therefore, he beat him. After the Cena storyline, he went for the WWE title at Money In The Bank, in which Cena won. I think the “Eater of Worlds” needs this win… badly. Jericho is just the guy to put him over, but their promo exchanges weren’t impressing me. Yes, Bray Wyatt’s promos are borderline poetic. But can he back this up? He sings “He’s Got The Whole World In His Hands,” but yet you didn’t beat Cena, or Jericho, or win the WWE Title. Hopefully that will change. I took a liking to Bray Wyatt, specifically because of his character. Jericho has become, well… a glorified jobber. So my prediction and hopefully WWE’s decision is Bray Wyatt to win in hopefully a good match.
Prediction: Bray Wyatt wins.
Jack Swagger vs. Rusev (Flag Match)
This match, I admit, may be the worst one on the card. But due to the angle, I might watch it with big anticipation. The angle is simple. Rusev: Russian, his valet Lana says Americans suck and are inferior to Russians. Every week they talk down on President Obama and talk highly of Vladimir Putin. Simple. Jack Swagger: Real American, his manager Zeb Colter says nobody should talk down on America except Real Americans. Simple. Now, I did not know what a Flag Match was… until I found out that it is basically an “item on a pole match.” Sigh. Due to my patriotism, I am pulling for Jack Swagger. Purely because he just turned babyface, which is quite refreshing. When he was a bad guy, he was so stale and boring as hell. Besides, I do not think you have to pin or submit to win, so if Rusev does actually lose, it does no damage to him. Besides, if Swagger loses, it may be all over for him. So, my prediction is Jack Swagger. WE… THE PEOPLE.
Prediction: Jack Swagger wins.
AJ Lee (Champion) vs. Paige for the Divas Championship
Now, this should be a good Divas matchup. Once again, I will try not to let my personal feelings get in the way here. Now, I did not see much of Paige in NXT. I knew she was vicious from her vignettes on WWE Network ($9.99! Had to do it.) but she is impressive on the main roster though. As a face, she was forgettable. But this frenemy thing going on with AJ Lee, she is awesome as a heel. I think all she needed was a character and a direction. When she was a face, she was facing random Divas for the title after AJ left, like Tamina Snuka, Naomi, and Alicia Fox. As for AJ Lee… I admit it, I am in love with her. She might just have moved into my top five hottest Divas. And I am somewhat choosy. CM Punk is one lucky S.O.B. I first had a crush on her as a babyface when she was on NXT. Remember when she was tag team partners with Kaitlyn? (Had a crush on her too) Then she turned heel after being friend-zoned by John Cena. Most of her heel run, I was like: “That evil, demonic bitch! But she’s so sexy!” And she was with Dolph Ziggler back then, that also was a big plus. Anyway, now she’s back as a face, making boys blush, winning the Divas Championship her first night back. This should be at least 3 out of 5 stars. And I honestly think she’ll retain. Yes, I am going with my heart. Love bites. See what I did there? Hehe. And if Punk leaves you, AJ… Holler at your boy. I got a shoulder to cry on.
Prediction: AJ Lee wins and retains Divas Championship.
Dean Ambrose vs. Seth Rollins (Lumberjack Match)
Now, this match was really hotly anticipated ever since last month’s pay-per-view, Battleground. WWE chose not to have the match there, but to wait and have a crazy stipulation match at SummerSlam. That was smart, looking back at it, because this feud has been awesome between Ambrose and Rollins. Rollins was the one who backstabbed Ambrose, breaking up The Shield and joining The Authority in the process. After he joined The Authority, he won the Money In The Bank Contract (with help from Kane). Now he is all but guaranteed to be the next WWE World Heavyweight Champion anytime, anyplace for up to one year. However, Dean Ambrose is hell-bent on ripping Seth Rollins to shreds. Since he couldn’t get the briefcase, fine. He’ll just have to stop him at every opportunity he gets to cash in. He’s that crazy. And that’s what I love about Dean Ambrose. He is like the love child of “Rowdy” Roddy Piper and “Stone Cold” Steve Austin. He gives zero f*cks whatsoever. The only thing he cares about is beating Seth Rollins to pieces.
Now, what I don’t love about this match is the stipulation. Dean Ambrose had the power to pick the stipulation, since he won a “Beat The Clock” challenge on RAW against Seth Rollins, who got beat by Heath Slater. Ambrose actually picked a lumberjack match. As the immortal Miz would say: Really? At SummerSlam? You, the supposed “Lunatic Fringe” Dean Ambrose, picked a lumberjack match? I am not saying the match is going to suck, but the match stipulation does. If I was him, I would’ve did an extreme rules match or a First Blood match, because he is crazy! Well, I guess the reason why he named it a lumberjack match is okay… “We decimated the whole roster as The Shield, so no one likes us anyway. If you try to run, they’ll throw you back in. They’ll throw me back in too.” Eh, all right. This should be a good match regardless what stipulation it is. They should make it work. These two are immensely talented. Dean Ambrose is quickly becoming one of my favorites to watch, and he is my prediction to win. Why? Because Seth Rollins already has the Money In The Bank, so… it doesn’t really damage him, right? I’ll have more on Seth when I talk about Cena/Lesnar. As for this match, I pick Ambrose. But this rivalry is far from over.
Prediction: Dean Ambrose wins.
Now, I saved these last three matches because they are the main events on the card. And one of them involves Divas! WHO KNEW! But first:
Roman Reigns vs. Randy Orton
For some reason, this match might just be the second best match of the card. Purely because you have Randy Orton, one of the most gifted sports entertainers in WWE (when consistent, of course) and one of the rising meteoric stars in WWE, Roman Reigns. Women go crazy for both of these men. Hell, I would too. Randy’s a badass. Reigns is EQUALLY a badass. And have you seen Reigns’ fatherhood commercial? God, his daughter is so freaking adorable! Anyway…If I had the body of those men… Rarely would I ever have a shirt on. Expect a lot of female orgasmic screaming and signage. This rivalry started after Battleground when Triple H named John Cena’s opponent for SummerSlam (like we didn’t know already). Randy Orton came out, then Reigns beat him up. Which opened the spot to Lesnar.
During this rivalry, Randy Orton RKO’d Reigns through the announce table TWICE just for the table to break. Orton on another occasion beat Reigns to a pulp after that table incident. I actually like this side of Orton, “The Viper.” He just beats everybody to a bloody pulp, and just doesn’t care afterwards. It adds to his badassery, if you will. Plus, Orton’s pose… one of my all time favorite taunts in professional wrestling. As for Roman Reigns, I think he definitely has the look and potential to become world champion. However, I’ve noticed that his moveset is rather limited in the ring. I fear that WWE is going to treat him like John Cena, give him a rocket push while the audience loves him… and then the audience turns on him. Even worse, I fear that Reigns is going to become another Sheamus or Ryback, getting a rocket push before they or the audience is ready for it. I hope that Roman Reigns has a great match with Randy Orton and proves me wrong. Roman Reigns needs to get to the top naturally though. I think Randy Orton can be that annoying roadblock that he needs to have in the way. Therefore, my prediction, even though WWE is pushing Reigns to the top, is Randy Orton.
Prediction: Randy Orton wins.
Stephanie McMahon vs. Brie Bella
Now, this match has been hotly anticipated as well, had the main event segment of RAW a couple of weeks in a row, and it involved DIVAS! WHO KNEW! This match will not by any means be like their husbands’. Or a Benoit-Angle match. Expect a lot of B.S. to go down. (Examples: Crooked referee, referee takes a bump, then Stephanie hits the Pedigree OR Brie locks in the YES Lock, but there’s no one to officiate. I’ve also heard rumors that Nikki Bella may turn heel on Brie screwing her out of the match.) Also there is the factor of Triple H or Daniel Bryan interfering. This will not be a classic wrestling match but it will be entertaining, that’s for sure. The feud is basically a continuation of Triple H and Daniel Bryan’s from before WrestleMania, only with their wives.
This feud was the classic cat fight. One called the other “bitch,” back and forth. Stephanie got arrested for slapping Brie in the audience, Brie eventually got her job back along with a match at SummerSlam against her. This had everything it needed… until last week. Last week on RAW, they brought out Daniel Bryan’s physical therapist named Megan, and like some B.S. you would see on Maury, she said: “I’m having an affair with Daniel Bryan!” Why? You didn’t need that crap. Too far. I may be a bandwagon Daniel Bryan fan, but… too far, bro.
As for my prediction… It’s a toss up really. I want Brie to win. I want her to go Brie Mode all over her bitch ass. If Stephanie wins, it’s on some B.S. like Nikki turning heel or Triple H. I think I’m inclined to pick that because if Nikki turns, next would be Nikki/Brie. And I don’t think this feud is over yet. Therefore, my pick out of reason, is Stephanie.
Prediction: Stephanie McMahon wins.
John Cena (Champion) vs. Brock Lesnar for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship.
Before I say anything about this subject, let me preface this. I am a diehard Cena fan. Since day one, I have been living by the values of “Hustle, Loyalty, and Respect.” Every time I see him do the Five Knuckle Shuffle, I do the “You Can’t See Me” taunt with passion. With that being said… I hate some of these Cena haters. I get some of what they’re saying with “They shove Cena down our throats.” Yes, I agree. That’s the company’s fault, not him. “Five Moves of Doom.” EVERY BABYFACE HAS FIVE MOVES OF DOOM. Again, the company’s creative team’s fault… not him. John Cena has been a victim of his own accolades. People hate him because they’re sick of him. That simple. And enter… BRRRRROCK LESNAR! Here comes the pain. John Cena will get his ass kicked, no doubt. But will he overcome the odds and win?
I will keep this simple. Many marks have opinions when it comes to Brock Lesnar, a part timer, being a WWE Champion. Here’s mine: I don’t think Cena wanted the title to begin with. It was Daniel Bryan’s time to shine. But he got hurt. You could argue Cena is just a placeholder. In conclusion, Cena will not walk out of SummerSlam WWE World Heavyweight Champion. I guara-damn-tee it. As for Seth Rollins… Let’s just say… I have a feeling. Ok?
Prediction: Brock Lesnar wins and is the NEW WWE World Heavyweight Champion.