Looking not on things which are seen

Thejessicaduke
Sep 1, 2018 · 6 min read
Look beyond; there is more.

Looking not on things which are seen

This is inspired by Paul’s second letter to the Corinthians in chapter 4 verse 18 (KJV). It says; “ while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.”

It is amazing how portions of the bible which talked about an issue in a certain context relate to, and explain other life issues. I stumbled upon this verse at a Sunday service at my Church (Household of David) where my Pastor was talking about life situations and how they can get you down, break you and hunt you. However, your focus should not be on the situation, but on Jesus, on eternal things and on salvation. It was just the dose of medicine needed, because at that point I was going through trying times and focusing on the problem.

I am marrying this beautiful verse to relationships. At first glance, it doesn’t seem like this can be tied back to relationships, but when light comes, every part of the word of God applies to something you are going through. I would divide this verse into 4 parts and then tie them back to what we look for in a man or a woman:

  1. Looking not at things which are seen.
  2. But on things unseen.
  3. For things which are seen are temporal.
  4. But unseen things are eternal.

Looking not at things which are seen

What are the things we see in a prospective partner? Money, status, cars, good looks, nice shoes, house, poise. These things are good to the eyes but they are not the primary determinants of a relationship. People stumble into relationships for the above stated reasons and they fizzle out after a while because they are built on temporary things that can change at any time.

If your primary focus is on appearance you are bound to make the wrong decisions. God is not a God that focuses on temporary things, He cannot and He would not. We have read in His word, “Jesus Christ the same, yesterday today and forever” and this is also the nature of God. This nature doesn’t allow Him focus on things that can change. God doesn’t love you because of your money, cars and shoes neither does He love you because you look good. You are His child and He sent His son to die for you. There is no greater love.

He has previously said in 1st Samuel 16:7 that man does not see how He sees for man sees what is visible but He sees the heart (HCSB). God understands that your physical stature as well as your good looks would change as age comes but your heart does not. Your soul is the real you, in good and bad that is you. The heart is unseen because it is inside the body. Most times we miss our partners because we are focusing on that which is seen.

Are you in that relationship because of the cars? They can be sold tomorrow for any reason, are you in that relationship because of the hot body? Weight gain is real, are you in that relationship because of the money? Money comes and goes. But what really lasts and what should you focus on? We would look at that on the 4th point.

But on things unseen

As mentioned earlier the heart is unseen. As human beings we are spirit beings (Gen 1:27) as we were made by our father, we live in a body and we have a soul. I think of the soul as the middleman that ties the spirit to the body. And again just like God we are 3 in 1. Your body most times has a mind of its own if not properly trained and tamed. Think of the body as a casing in which the real you resides. You are really the person inside and the soul is eternal. This is the unseen thing we should focus on when looking for a partner. The bible says, “Train a child in the way he SHOULD grow and in old age it shall not depart from him” this is why it is hard to change. Most of us are stuck in our ways therefore if you are kind, loving and caring that is you on the inside, If you are morally upright that is you on the inside, if you fear God and love Him that is also you on the inside. Things unseen are those things that are unique to a person like character and attitude. I ask that we place lower priority on the face and body and look into the soul, study him/her look for those unseen things that you like or don’t like, Ask yourself important questions; who does he/she worship? Can his God be my God? Can I trust Him/her? Can I grow with him/her or would I crash? The unseen is the real person not his/her status, house and beauty.

For things which are seen are temporal

That outer feature you are focusing on is temporary. I cannot overemphasize this point. If you started a relationship because she is thick and tomorrow she decides to hit the gym and goes from thick to slim that’s the automatic end of that relationship because that which you were focused on is gone. This is just to say that physical things can change at any time but a genuine and kind person who truly loves you from the heart will be the same after many years. Do not be moved by carnal things. A relationship is serious business that leads to marriage and involves life changing decisions. If these decisions are made based on temporary things the marriage would most likely be temporary.

But unseen things are eternal

I would be a bit personal on this point. Before I got born again I was Miss “fine boy”. I would not even consider a guy that is not handsome. It was the number 1 thing on my “before I date you list” asides just looking for a handsome guy I also liked chubby guys, a slim guy wouldn’t appeal to me. At another point I started liking slim guys. My list was inconsistent and based on nothing eternal. I really just wanted a picture perfect guy that everyone would attest to his hotness and indeed I got a few of them who were not worth the stress. My last relationship with my then definition of a good guy was indeed an experience, he did not only cheat on me, he also used his fine car to carry all the girls, lied to me with his fine face looking innocent and used his fine lips to insult me at every opportunity. I was so blinded by everything around him that it clouded my judgement (Seen things). One day I got down on my knees and prayed to God to save me from the situation I put myself in, to renew my mind and help me not focus on external things but on unseen things. I intentionally started listening to relationship & marriage teachings like; Myles Munroe teachings, Kingsley Okonkwo teachings, Sola Osunmakinde teachings, Funke-Felix Adejumo teachings, I also attended a few relationship programs in Fountain of Life Church and revelation started flowing in. I felt like I had never been in a relationship before because my previous relationships could not be classified with the term “relationship”. Light came in and darkness had no choice but to flee and I thank God for that light because it led me to a beautiful relationship as well as better understanding to enable me even write about godly relationships. God took me from a warped and worldly mind-set of relationships to understanding what a relationship is, I stopped focusing on seen things and restructured my list but I didn’t need a list because I knew exactly what I wanted and it was not a fine face, big chest or a fine car. It was nothing I could see.

I pray that this opens up your heart, maybe you have a mind-set that is holding you in a relationship that does not feel right, maybe you also have a list to restructure or maybe you have been choosing relationships based on seen things. It’s not too late to relearn and pray for God to lead you according to His word to a relationship that is pleasing to Him and you.

Written by

A Christian passionate about learning to live and love in the way and will of God.

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