James Anok
Sep 4, 2018 · 1 min read

I should have known when you refused.

When you refused to open your eyes when we kissed.

When you crashed upon me over and over

and over again

Grinding me to sand and dragging me

under, over and under.


I should have known when you looked at me

Unfocused then focused.

When that internal switch was thrown

and threshold crossed.

When that creamy darkness inside you

stopped frothing and whispering.


I did know when you spoke your words,

obsidian shards against my skin.

For all your charms and gilded decorations

There was always that discordant ache

Deep deep deeper than you

could ever reach and caused you

to lash out, enraged.

Such was the expression of your love.


You were more afraid that it would be you,

not that it would be me,

To see the endless salted fields inside you

Blowing dry and dusty in our shared breaths.

It was never about me.

It was the truth of you, reflected in my eyes,

that horrified you the most.

James Anok

Written by

Cultural omnivore, cyclist, traveller, dreamer, and photographer. Plays well with others. I’ve been told that I’m a nice guy, but I’ve been lied to before.

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