
I should have known when you refused.
When you refused to open your eyes when we kissed.
When you crashed upon me over and over
and over again
Grinding me to sand and dragging me
under, over and under.
I should have known when you looked at me
Unfocused then focused.
When that internal switch was thrown
and threshold crossed.
When that creamy darkness inside you
stopped frothing and whispering.
I did know when you spoke your words,
obsidian shards against my skin.
For all your charms and gilded decorations
There was always that discordant ache
Deep deep deeper than you
could ever reach and caused you
to lash out, enraged.
Such was the expression of your love.
You were more afraid that it would be you,
not that it would be me,
To see the endless salted fields inside you
Blowing dry and dusty in our shared breaths.
It was never about me.
It was the truth of you, reflected in my eyes,
that horrified you the most.
