Thinking about Camille: marriage, red flags and her perspective.

Another woman shamed behind the actions of her husband.

Sometimes we don’t understand why people do what they do. Why domestic violence victims stay with their abusers, or why criminals do the same crime they’ve already been imprisoned for. I’m sure the whole world knows of the Bill Cosby rape accusations by now. You can’t ignore forty plus women, complete with media amplification, and Cosby supporter conspiracies that don’t make sense at times. I hope this is interpreted well, as we all wrestle with things we love that hurt us.

A piece of me wants him to be innocent, siding with the arguments framed on the age of the incidents, the idea that they just want his money, or that some of the women don’t seem credible, then I can say with my friends who defend him, “I told you so, they just wanna take the Black man down.” The other part, that I personally lean towards, is that he’s maybe what these women and his patterns have suggested, a sexual predator. Whether you believe the Illuminati is out to get a “powerful” Black man or if you think he’s automatically guilty, that is not the focus here.

I’ve been reading all the articles on him, listening to YouTube conspiracies, reading sketchy blogs, credible websites and listening to the excellence of his new attorney (who is quite decorated). With everything going on, I haven’t seen much about the other woman who has been hurt behind this situation: his wife, Camille.

Now I know he’s not lawfully guilty of rape or any kind of sexual abuse as of yet, but there is something else here, something that has been here as long as the accusations have.

My interest in this is my love for marriage, my love for Black love and positive imagery of Black families, my love for longevity in marriage and the sacredness of it. Bill and Camille have been married for fifty-two years, something me and my wife aspire to accomplish. I also want to do it without infidelity, charges of sexually abuse or a stained legacy.

How does she feel? What is her mental state through all this?

Her husband has been called “America’s Dad,” they have donated millions toward African-American education, Camille is a television producer, she’s an author, a philanthropist, a renowned art collector and more. How does it feel to be the wife of this “powerful” Black man who is a sexual violator and potentially a convicted abuser? Don’t misunderstand me, I don’t want to diminish the cries of true victims or compare rape to infidelity, it’s just interesting that Bill has confessed to cheating and various rendezvous — full of drugs, romance and creepy old man style affairs — while denying rape accusations.

Meanwhile, Camille is literally weathering the storm of public scrutiny, the fall of her husband’s glory, and possible still mourning over her murdered son. Learning all this made me automatically sensitive to what could be going on, even behind the scenes of the media, with her marriage.

Bill has paid women to keep his affairs private. One in particular included an extortion case around the same time of their son’s death. Imagine being the women who has to go through that, a murdered son and a cheating (famous) husband, all while being rich — which means “perfect” in American society. Contrary to popular belief, Black women aren’t “strong” all the time. They feel. They grieve. They hurt. And they’re tired of the way we treat them. If they want the faithfulness that comes with marriage, they should have it.

“I mean dag Bill, is Camille not enough for you? Are men incapable of being faithful?”

Camille might not be what you think behind the scenes, she could be depressed, dealing with serious cognitive dissonance and so used to her husbands cover ups, pay offs, and extortion from other women, that she thinks they’re all after his money.

You could easily say, “she’s down, she’s loyal,” but her husband isn’t. Why does this seem like a Deja-vu for men? I mean dag Bill, is Camille not enough for you? Are men incapable of being faithful? Do you reach a certain age or year in marriage and except the fact that someone is going to cheat? If you’re “America’s Dad,” what does that say about American fatherhood, relationships and the value of women here?

Red flags, rape culture and the betrayal of sexual exclusivity.

I see his ways as red flags and we should take adultery as serious as rape — though totally different — because they hurt people. Not that his cheating led to him sexual abusing — predator would do that married or not.

Rape culture is promoted with the sounds of “he’s rich, they know what they wanted,” “that old man ain’t raping nobody,” or my favorite “why would they go into the hotel with a married man,” etc. That doesn’t matter. Consent is warranted, even within adultery, monetary gifts, or favors. Historically, men of all positions, King or peasant, have always ruined themselves by sexual violation — especially within the sphere of marriage. Again I don’t want to demean the accusers, or be a prosecuting attorney, this just opens up the idea that he is slowing down in age and now his sins are quickly catching up with him.

Obviously some of his affairs are with women who are accusing him of rape. Infidelity can be defined as non-sexual as well, rape is also totally different than sex — which denotes both people equally wanting pleasure. It’s possible that women he had an emotional affair with, didnt want to take it to a sexual level, yet he did. He weaves the two.

He has gained forgiveness from his wife and gets away clean, until now. It reminds me of the man who has a main chick, does what he wants with his side chick’s and then runs back to his wife when he’s done. He looks stable but really lives a secret, reckless life. I know it’s not that simple, but honestly, how much could you love your wife, uphold your vows, honor sexual exclusiveness and allow your closet to be filled with this much sexual misconduct?

On the other hand, she herself could have men on the side or they could have some open marriage type of arrangement. Due to the fact that rape is an actual crime and adultery is not (though it is legal grounds for divorce), Bill’s rape accusations are on a different scale of judgement, which most articles on him address.

Through it all Camille protects her husband, maybe she has special info that we don’t, maybe he’s got her fooled, maybe he’s guilty and she knows it but is lying anyway. We don’t know. We do know that he has a long history of being unfaithful, paying off women, giving women drugs (who cares if it was legal or not, this exposes the nature), and making Black women — that he championed on the Cosby show — look unworthy in real life. Maybe she’s fine with that.

Is this a “for better or worse” example for the world to see? She’s set to be deposed next month (currently fighting it), maybe we will see.

Or maybe I think too much.