This is True #1294

She’s a Bit Stiff: A woman in West Boynton Beach, Fla., heard her 73-year-old neighbor scream, “Help! He’s going to kill me!” Deputies responding to her 911 call found the bloodied woman being chased by her own 40-year-old son. They say he hit his mother over the head with a small stool, and force-fed her the dumplings she had made for dinner. He was arrested for aggravated battery of victim over the age of 65, and domestic battery by strangulation. What upset Mikkel Dankner to such a degree? His mother, deputies found, had refused to dress his mannequin for him. (RC/WPTV West Palm Beach) …Could’ve been worse: he could have wanted her to undress his mannequin for him.

For St. Pete’s Sake: Kathryn Socash, 63, had just left a Tampa, Fla., soccer game, and pulled out of her fifth-floor parking spot in the McNulty Parking Garage. At the fourth floor, she stopped — there was a line of cars stopped ahead of her. She walked down and found the cause: there was only one working gate with a single attendant collecting the $10 payments to leave the garage. “We’re not talking a few minute delay — we’re talking 2 1/2 hours,” said another waiter. “The word ‘hostage’ came to mind. Until I got to the gate and paid my $10 to get out, I was a hostage.” Next to the gate people were queued up for was an unstaffed gate with a sign, “24HR VIDEO $50 FOR BROKEN GATE”. “I thought that was a small price to pay to stop feeling like a hostage,” Socash said, so she ran through the gate. A few other vehicles managed to escape without paying until police arrived. It cost Soccash a little more than $50, though: after being arrested, she was held for 18 hours before posting $250 bail. (MS/Tampa Bay Times) …Cheapest ransom ever.

No Hablo Español: Police were called to a restaurant in Anaheim, Calif., after a customer went on a rant because the menu was written in Spanish as well as English. “It says it in Mexican!” he screamed. “We’re not in Mexico, we’re in America! Above the border. The red, the line. I’m an American!” The restaurant owner says the unidentified man screamed racist insults at other customers as well as employees, and when asked to leave threatened to call “Immigration” because “you’re not legal!” What sort of restaurant would include both English and Spanish on its menu in southern California — which used to belong to Mexico? A taco shop. (RC/KTTV Los Angeles) …Someone that racist and stupid should stick to purely American foods, like pizza, ramen, and bratwurst.

Ranting about the menu having “Mexican” on it in addition to English.

Administratively Violated: “In this day and age,” said Bradenton, Fla., Police Chief Melanie Bevan, “I think it takes a little bit of courage to be willing to tell a police officer standing at the door, ‘No, we don’t want to let you talk to our daughter.’” And yet one woman’s parents turned away then-Sgt. Leonel Marines after he’d followed their daughter exiting a parking lot, the chief said. The woman’s complaint triggered an internal investigation, and the chief said numerous “administrative violations,” including “sex on duty,” were discovered. Marines was suspended in 2012 for seeking dates through law-enforcement databases, but he targeted at least another 150 women over the six years after that, the chief said. Also during those six years, Marines was promoted to sergeant. But now he’s quit — he would’ve been fired, Bevan said — and the FBI is investigating whether he committed a federal crime. (AC/Bradenton Herald, WFLA Tampa) …And what kind of crime did the person who promoted him commit?

Welcome to the 21st Century (Another in a Long Series): Kentucky’s Gov. Matt Bevin signed a new law to prohibit sex between humans and animals. It took several attempts to get the bill through the legislature: several previous attempts failed, including because some members were concerned such a law would interfere with “private property rights.” Yes, really. Violations of the new law would be a felony punishable by 1 to 5 years in prison, plus a prohibition against owning any animal, living in any place where there’s “access” to an animal, and the perpetrator must receive treatment or counseling. Other previous failed bills tried to prohibit sex with pets but not other animals, and one proposed an exemption in the law for those engaged in “animal husbandry.” (RC/Louisville Courier Journal) …“What?! I have to marry her first?”

Don’t Toy with Me 
PETA Sues OHSU for Scaring Monkeys with Mr. Potato Head 
KOIN Portland

In All the Years of the Honorary Unsubscribe, there have been about a dozen photographers, including last week’s and …this week’s. Best to read Ed Westcott’s in the archive, since it includes several of his photos (and a brief documentary), which I can do because as a government photographer, his work isn’t under copyright — and, thankfully, a lot (all?) of it has been declassified….

In the Headline, OHSU refers to the Oregon Health & Science University. According to the story, PETA demands that the university release video footage “relating to maternal nutrition experiments conducted on mother-infant or mother-juvenile pairs of monkeys,” presumably because it hopes it will find evidence of some sort of evidence of experimenters frightening the animals. Indeed researchers shouldn’t abuse animals, but the repeatedly unethical PETA certainly has no leg to stand on when it comes to animal abuse.

In recent months I’ve been seeing news stories about PETA demanding various organizations build memorials to animals killed in, for instance, crashes of trucks carrying livestock (such as chickens). I still haven’t seen them put up any memorials for the multitudes of healthy pets it has killed — and thrown into trash dumpsters that don’t belong to them to put the disposal bill onto someone else.

I will continue to remember PETA’s actions even if they hope the public will forget their actual actions, which speak much louder than their words.

This Week’s Uncommon Sense Podcast: It’s easier for young children to learn basic sign language than to speak, and what a head start they can get on learning! Proof of concept: a gorilla, which in part shows that thinking is not limited to humans. You can stream it from the show page, or read the transcript there: What a Talking Ape Can Teach Humans.

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