This is True #1297: The Black Hole

The Pink Badge of Courage: A man called 911 to report a road rage incident in Deltona, Fla. Another man in a pickup truck followed him home to curse him out about his supposed erratic driving, he says, and then pulled a gun, said he and his wife were sheriff’s deputies, told him “I got something for you, and I will shoot you up,” and showed his badge — a pink sheriff’s badge. When real deputies caught up with Shawn Nichols, 45, he indeed had a pink badge: it was emblazoned “Spouse” and was created for breast cancer awareness, the Volusia County Sheriff’s Office says. Nichols denied saying he was a deputy, and admitted only his wife was. That was a lie too: he’s not actually married to her, investigators say, just “in a relationship” with her. (RC/WKMG Orlando) …Which is a relief for her, since dumping him is a lot easier that way.

Party Like It’s 1869: A church in Grand Rapids, Mich., celebrated its 150th birthday in a unique way. “Fountain Street Church has been proudly different, sometimes contrary, often controversial,” Senior Minister Fred Wooden said. “So, this was a little bit in our character to do something off the beaten path, as it were.” The church has partnered with a local brewery to produce their very own beer: Fountain Streeter. “I guess this is stepping out of the usual pattern,” Wooden said, “but church is not what happens in the building, it’s what happens in people’s hearts.” Brewery Vivant held a release party to premiere the beer, and the church is asking the community to join them. “What is beer,” Wooden said, “but bread with an attitude?” (MS/WXMI Grand Rapids) …That depends: will he use it for communion?

Silt Happens: An “incident response team” was dispatched to Interstate 90 near Sammamish, Wash., Easter morning after a truck hauling solid …well… “human waste” overturned, dumping its load on the highway. Investigators say they believe the driver, who suffered only minor injuries, fell asleep at the wheel. (RC/KOMO Seattle) …I’ll say he was asleep at the wheel: that delivery was meant for Washington D.C.!

The dumped truck (the front half is further down the road, in the grass). No, they didn’t explain why the heck it was hauling human waste.

The Bare Arm of the Law: “It’s easier to take action when you have your colleagues with you, and all your tools and equipment,” said Christopher Bohman, deputy chief of the Rinkeby, Stockholm, Sweden, police. “This was as stripped-down as it gets — in more ways than one.” And for more people than one: the officer was in the sauna, and so was the fugitive, when each recognized the other. The officer arrested the unnamed man, who’d been convicted of drug charges and attempted assault on a public servant. “We are everywhere,” said the Rinkeby Police in a Facebook post. “Even if you don’t see us, we are there.” (AC/Local Sweden) …On the bright side, a strip search was probably unnecessary.

Jeepers Peepers: A hidden camera was found pointed at a toilet in a restroom at the New Zealand embassy in Washington D.C., and a suspect was charged and returned to Auckland to face trial. Evidence presented in court shows the suspect used his assigned electronic security pass to go into the area, and a security camera shows him going into the restroom. Shortly after, the man comes out of the restroom, and security logs show he used his pass to enter the defense attache’s office — his own office. More damning: the suspect had searched online for information about the model of camera found, and loaded the camera’s software on his computer — and removed it when he discovered the camera had been found. Even more damning: DNA on the camera’s SD card matched the suspect, Commodore Alfred Harold Keating, a senior New Zealand Navy defense chief. Keating adamantly denied any knowledge of the camera, but was found guilty by a jury. He faces up to 18 months in prison, and loss of his military commission. (RC/Auckland Now) …But the title of Commodore Commode will last forever.

Obviously Not on Payday 
Detectives: Man Robs City & Police Federal Credit Union 
WJXT Jacksonville (Fla.) headline

I’m Proud of the Uncommon Sense podcast: this week’s ties together a Premium reader’s take-down of a “health meme” that was circulating on Facebook, and then I go on my own rant about a meme regarding the “black hole photo” released last week. As always, you can stream it from the Show Page, or read the transcript there — but I recommend listening if you can. If you’ve liked my blog posts, trust me: you’ll love these, even more if you are able to listen (and yes, they’re all recorded by me: that’s my voice). This week’s: 32 Glasses of Water Go Down the Black Hole. For info on how to subscribe, and a list of all episodes, see this page.

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