HOW TO KILL RELATIONSHIPS 101
Assumptions, “Truth,” and other Relationship Weapons of Mass Destruction
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UNHEALTHY COMMUNICATION 101
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Someone says/does or doesn't say/doesn't do something to someone else...
- In their gut, the other person has a FEELING about what was/wasn’t said or done to them
- They instantly decide that their gut instinct interpretation of the intent/meaning of what was/wasn't said/done to them IS the "truth"
Collapsing THE Truth With PERSONAL Truth
- They then react/listen/speak to that person, from the perspective that their gut instinct is accurate
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HEALTHY COMMUNICATION 101
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In their gut, the other person has a FEELING about what was/wasn’t said or done to them
- They recognize that their gut instinct interpretation about the intent/meaning of what was/wasn't said/done to them FEELS like the "truth"
Distinguishing PERSONAL Truth From THE Truth
- Though they feel like their gut interpretation is accurate, they still push themselves to say some version of...
- "When you (insert what the other person did/didn't say/do here), I felt that (insert whatever that gut assumption is here). Was that your intent?"
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BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT
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Healthy communication gives another person benefit of the doubt long enough to have a straight forward discussion about an issue you have with them, and give them an opportunity to address it, PRIOR to drawing a conclusion and acting on it.
“My gut instincts about people are ALWAYS right…”
The next time you hear someone say "My gut instincts about people are ALWAYS right..." know two things:
- 1)They are likely to be a person who assumes often, judges silently, and lets issues fester in their relationships without addressing them openly and honestly
- 2)Read number one again, and choose your friends wisely.
Thomas started his entrepreneurial career selling luxury custom car accessories online from New York to California out of his dorm room at Tennessee State University, and never looked back. Over 15 years later, beard grayed from the trials of entrepreneurship, Thomas is an author, an emerging tech startup founder, a speaker, a Google Entrepreneur in Residence, and the creator of a global membership organization for Black and Latinx founders of emerging tech startups, whose members cover almost all 50 states, 4 countries, and have raised + generated over $415MM in their startups. Learn more about Thomas’ current projects at ThomasKRStovall.com.
