There’s A Better Way to Make Change.

by Anna Wagner

In the fall of 2004, I was failing professionally.

I was running a get out the vote campaign in Las Vegas, and I was imagining, quite literally, what it would be like to walk in front of a bus.

My finances were in shambles. My relationship had ended abruptly. I was working 80–90 hour weeks. I managed a team of organizers, and I was sleeping on their couch. I’d recently gone home with a stranger I met at a bar – just so I could get away from my life. There were times I’d yelled at the people I managed. I hid in the parking lot smoking, hopeless, and wishing I could be anywhere but there.

My life was nothing but my job. My self-worth was completely tied up in how well I was doing at my job – and I wasn’t doing well. I remember wishing something would just happen to me so that I could escape.

When I was in high school, a family member attempted suicide — unsuccessfully, fortunately. A few years ago, a colleague took his life, and just the other day, an activist I don’t even know took his. Though I didn’t know him, I ache for the people I love who did.

I can’t even imagine the hardships they were experiencing, but I can speak from my experience. For me, my entire identity was tied up in the success of the campaign I was running. The campaign was a failure, and therefore so was I.

It took me quitting my job and moving back home to get some perspective and see that I could organize in a way that didn’t destroy me.

From there, I chose to work for a non-profit that gave generous vacation time, benefits, and 36-hour work weeks were common. I moved to a place where I could access beautiful wild places and work with loving, supportive colleagues.

Many non-profits are run on a shoestring budget — but the truth is, we can’t afford to be putting self care off for another day. The constant “putting out fires” and running around in panic mode isn’t working. We must change.

Changemakers need tools for self care, resilience, re-centering, and nourishing themselves and each other. It’s not a luxury — it is essential, if we are going to create a thriving and just world.

When people feel sustained, they are more creative, resilient, focused, and productive. Busyholism is destructive. It’s more of the same thinking that got us in this mess in the first place, and — perhaps more importantly — the risks are far greater than simply being a little run down.

I’m grateful that instead of wishing my life would end, I left that job and took the time to reground myself.

We must cultivate resilience in these increasingly trying times. As the leaders of Movement Generation say, “change is guaranteed, but justice is not.”

If we aren’t nurturing ourselves, if the work we do isn’t sustainable, how can we hope to create a sustainable world?

We must be the change we seek.

A team of fellow changemakers-turned-coaches have begun to find a way to do this, and we want to give you the tools to do this yourself. Join us at the Thriving Changemaker Summit and we promise we will.