Surprising Life Lessons Learned from Leaving a Dream Job
A year of unlearning: what leaving my dream job as a Silicon Valley executive taught me about life
Belonging so fully to yourself that you’re willing to stand alone is a wilderness — an untamed, unpredictable place of solitude and searching. It is a place as dangerous as it is breathtaking, a place as sought after as it is feared. The wilderness can often feel unholy because we can’t control it, or what people think about our choice of whether to venture into that vastness or not. But it turns out to be the place of true belonging, and it’s the bravest and most sacred place you will ever stand- Brene Brown
I’m embarrassed. This is the first time in my adult life I chose to spend my birthday alone. I wonder why it took me over three decades to have the courage to finally be by myself, because, next to quitting my dream job last year, being alone on my birthday was simply the best decision my heart has ever made.
Somehow, I had always thought if we’re not surrounded by a ton of people on our special day, it meant we were a nobody–or worse–alone. When in truth, when we are completely filled with our own love, we are connected with everyone and every being around us. In the purity and wholeness of self-love, we find peace in knowing we are somebody without ever needing to prove anything. We can simply be.
In my day of stillness, I was able to reflect on the many lessons this year has taught me. As it turns out, I had a lot of things to unpack and unlearn before I could make space to re-learn. Admittedly, this past year hasn’t been easy at all. It was sometimes filled with immobilizing fear, stress-inducing anxiety, and unrelenting self-doubt.
Resignation as an Act of Self-Love
A year ago, I left a successful career as a technology executive with a company on the brink of an IPO, discarding what most dream to obtain: the path to financial freedom. Why? Because of an incessant inner voice and feeling that there was something more. Ridiculous, right? I thought so too at the time. Logically, it made no sense because the role provided the position, wealth, stability, and outlet to exercise my talent. It was always what I wanted, I thought.
When I resigned, my team was at the height of our success. It had been an arduous path that involved many sleepless nights and, in a span of two years, over 180 flight segments between San Francisco and Austin. Indeed, to bring an idea to life is a labor of love. Through it, my incredibly talented, mission-driven team ‘N-Abled’ the vision, exceeded every ambitious target. They not only secured continued sponsorship and funding but more importantly, the support and encouragement to continue dreaming their world into being. There truly is no greater joy than to live for something greater than yourself and the gratification of your own ego.
So, leaving at the time when the rocket was just about to take off seemed utterly illogical. It felt like jumping off a plane without a parachute, with no view of the ground. I experienced ego-death. Up to this point in my adult life, my identity–and self-worth– was built around what I achieved in my career. Without it, who was I?
Ten Simplistic Lessons on Life
Since, I’ve learned when I let go of my fear and embrace the beauty of flying, so many magical things can happen. Here are the top ten things I had to unlearn to learn about the truth of life. I hope my decision to take the fearful leap into the unknown may inspire you to have the courage to take your own soul-seated journey.
To attain knowledge, add things every day. To attain wisdom, remove things everyday- Lao Tzu
FLOW is following love over will.
If you find that life is tough and you’re always in friction, exerting so much effort, it’s probably because, in life, you’re choosing will over love. It’s not that will is bad, it’s just that when misapplied, through the direction of the ego, it causes friction. Friction is and becomes resistance when instead, we want resonance- and this can only come from the heart. So until we are soul-seated, when our mind is serving our spirit, simply choose love. Pick the things that bring you the most joy, contentment, and gratitude; it’s really that simple. Everything else will begin to flow.
Set intentions, not goals
“When you shift to an abundance mind-set, you repeat to yourself over and over again that you’re unlimited because you emanated from the inexhaustible supply of intention. As this picture solidifies, you begin to act on this attitude of unbending intent. There’s no other possibility. We become what we think about, and as Emerson reminded us: “The ancestor to every action is a thought.” As these thoughts of plentitude and excessive sufficiency become your way of thinking, the all-creating force to which you’re always connected will begin to work with you, in harmony with your thoughts, just as it worked with you in harmony with your thoughts of scarcity. If you think you can’t manifest abundance into your life, you’ll see intention agreeing with you, and assisting you in the fulfillment of meager expectations.”- Dr. Wayne Dyer
Goals set you up for the probability of failure. None of us can control the variables in life that direct the outcome of what we aim towards achieving, so why to bother. Instead, set powerful intentions, which are how one can genuinely apply themselves when working towards something. It’s another way of saying, “how will you be in the present moment?” Intentions don’t have attachments to outcomes. They have everything to do with how you will apply yourself at the moment; that’s it. Therefore, if we can answer to ourselves knowing that we have done our very best, then we can let go of outcomes, trusting whatever occurs will be for the very best.
When in doubt, choose love
We all want answers, guidance, advice to know what to do in any given moment, but that takes away all the fun. The fun in life is an adventure, of discovery and exploration. Doubt can be a good thing; it reminds us all that we’re alive! It’s an invitation to say there is more to learn and we don’t always know it all, so follow your curiosity and go explore! Our pursuit of immediate answers is a tragic flaw. Limbo is a natural state of mind that teaches us to let go and explore; it is the playground of the heart. When in doubt, simply choose love; it's the antidote for pretty much everything in life. Give it a try!
The act of surrendering doesn’t imply passiveness, it means to be active in choosing what shows up, right now
Surrendering is not about sitting back and idly watching the world go by; instead, it’s about taking action to do what shows up in your life- and actively choosing to disengage the likes and preferences of the mind. The likes and preferences we have are restrictive chains. They limit us to so much of what we are truly capable of, along with the possibilities that the world is trying to deliver for us. The universe can never really provide the abundance that is rightfully ours until we create space in our lives. However, if we’re always dictating our lives through our mental desires, our wants and likes, stuffing it with things we think are right, then really, our life is already filled to the brim. What else can flow in? We wonder why life can sometimes be so dull or why nothing right happens; it may be because we haven’t allowed it. If we allow affinity to greet us, the beauty of life is found in the present moment.
Honoring ourselves isn’t an excuse to do whatever we want
Honor is a powerful word meaning to protect what is sacred at all costs. Referring to oneself is the equivalent of addressing the spirit within; this finest, most sensitive, deepest state of the pure soul is what’s sacred. The continuous yet changing indestructible drop reflects the intrinsic values of the heart and the essence of our selfless being. It’s not to serve at the leisure of the mind, which attached to the false identity of Self, often seeks comfort and ease. To honor something takes immense courage. It means to do something difficult and scary, and perhaps, going against the grain, opposite of the mainstream. Be ever so mindful of the subtle difference between honoring thyself and pleasing the mind.
Money is just a tool, it’s not the ultimate goal in life
The real wealth in life cannot be measured monetarily. It is the richness of our lives lived: the accumulation of blessings gifted, the heart-felt relationships built, and above all, the accomplishment of meaningful deeds. So often, we get lost in the seduction of the ”matrix,” which causes us to focus our energy on collecting coins in our bank accounts, when money, in truth, is just a tool. If we worship the Money God, it can bring much destruction at the expense of everything right in life: love, joy, compassion, and wisdom.
Plant medicine can be a powerful intervention tool, but it’s not intended to replace the work that we must do within ourselves
So often we search for quick solutions thinking that medicine–in whatever form–will give us what we need. Yet, the purpose of life is about experiencing the lessons as experience is the doorway to realizations. This means working through problems and the adversities we face. It is only by practicing the personal truths we learn experientially through our lessons that we can begin to understand the more profound truth of the world, and that practice is the key to unlocking peace. Whether we realize it or not, this is the wisdom we are meant to seek. So don’t look for short-cuts. Don’t be mesmerized by any medicine. Don’t be seduced by the temptation of an easy fix. You won’t find it there. Everything you want and need is already within you, right there in your heart, but you have got to practice, you have to do the work. Sorry, there is just no other way!
We really can change the world with just our thoughts
“We do not need magic to change the world, we carry all the power we need inside ourselves already: we have the power to imagine better.”- J.K. Rowling
When it comes down to it, everything in life is an energetic vibration and a reflection of what created it. Whatever thought we birth into existence will cause its kind to gravitate towards it, only by the Law of Attraction. When the total of that thought has been accumulated, the immaterial momentum will manifest itself into the material. So, if we think enough terrible thoughts, bad things will inevitably happen. Similarly, every beauty in the world we see–from products to services–is a reflection of love in action. So changing the world must first begin with changing ourselves, one compassionate thought at a time, because when the wave gains momentum, anything is possible. When we focus our energy on positive thoughts and attitude, allowing the negative ones to slip away simply, amazing things happen.
A fulfilled life is about expressing one’s unique identity; it is not about getting what you want
In our current culture, we are programmed to operate with an individualistic and competitive mindset to win and are constantly reminded of all the things we should have but don’t. This cultural programming ultimately teaches us that fulfillment is getting what we want. When we don’t, the cultural norm is to view ourselves as victims of circumstance. As human beings, our being is an essential part of nature; it is what we are here to manifest. Our spiritual essence–or True Self–is our instrument in the orchestra of life. When we can live every moment expressing our soul signature, we begin to live in congruence with our Buddha-nature- and that is fulfillment.
Do good deeds to sow your blessings
There is a paradoxical cycle to healing that may seem counterintuitive, which is: the more you take, the less you receive; conversely, the more you give, the more you earn. The way we heal our pain is by responding lovingly to the suffering of others. The more joy we can give to others, the more joy we experience ourselves. So, if you want to receive more, turn your palms downward to give to another. You’ll be surprised how quickly your blessing will gather.
