If Rahm Emanuel Ran a Coffee Shop

You may ask, why is this woman interrupting these nice people? Surely, there must be more polite ways to communicate ones disenchantment?

The answer is Chicago. Ah yes, CHICAGO! More specifically the answer is Rahm Emanuel. Not just Rahm with his perfect hair, forced fake expressions of empathy, but the whole gooey, messy horrific reality that after all we know about Chicago’s deception, collusion and lies somehow Rahm Emanuel is still Mayor?

Imagine if Rahm ran a deli/coffee shop. Rahm doesn’t own the shop. In good faith, Rahm was selected by the patrons to run the shop. Rahm’s tenure as shop runner was to last for a indefinite amount of time: Do a great job, continue to run the shop. Do a shit job, do not continue to run the shop.

Now, imagine there are health violations at the shop. I mean serious fucking health violations. People died at the shop. That’s right the food actually killed patrons of the shop. A few patrons were consuming food made by the shop and died as a result of it. Instead of alerting the public to the causes of the deadly coffee and toxic bagels or whatever Rahm had his Shift Managers come out and tell everyone the deaths were the result of unfortunate slip and falls in the men’s room. It gets worse, a group of hourly employees deleted footage, brow beat inspectors to maintain secrecy and even paid victim families for their silence all to avoid telling local patrons the truth: The deli sucks!

Now that you can see the events which unfolded in Chicago over the last couple months in a different context perhaps we can both agree how mind boggling, unfathomable and to use a Mike Tyson term “ludicrous” it is Rahm and his cohorts are still running the deli/coffee shop. In fact, the deli hasn’t changed one iota and the only person fired was a damned shift manager following orders.

Now, if you don’t understand why that sister was holding a #resignRahm sign I don’t know what to tell you. Maybe you don’t want to get it or maybe you should head over to that Deli/Coffee Shop sit down and order yourself a large coffee and a bagel until you figure it out. Bon Appetit!