Occupy Wall Street

(Leader, Rep 1, Rep 2, Rep 3, and Rep 4 stand downstage in a line facing the audience. All dialogue is directed outward.)

Leader

We are Occupy Wall Street. We are a leaderless resistance movement comprised of people of many colors, genders, and political persuasions. We are the 99% that will no longer tolerate the greed and corruption of the 1%. Taking our cue from the Arab Spring revolts we stand in a united front against the social inequities and corporate greed that have come to define American capitalism. Over the last several weeks our unionized brothers and sisters from across the nation have come to lower Manhattan to join us in our fight.

Rep 1

I am here on behalf of the TWU Local 100 — representing the transit workers of New York City.

Rep 2

I am here on behalf of the United Auto Workers — representing laborers in the automobile industry.

Rep 3

I am here representing the United Federation of Teachers.

Rep 4

I am here on representing NAMBLA — the North American Man Boy Love Association.

Leader

We didn’t invite this guy.

Rep 1

I want to see Wall Street held accountable for its role in the 2008 economic collapse.

Rep 2

I want to be able to feed a family of four on a factory worker’s salary.

Rep 3

I want the American dream to be available to all Americans.

Rep 4

I want to be able to live within 100 feet of a school.

Leader

Seriously, we didn’t invite this guy. He just keeps showing up at the rallies.

Rep 1

We’re fighting because the system is broken.

Rep 2

We’re fighting because we believe in a middle class that’s rapidly disappearing.

Rep 3

We’re fighting because we believe equality is more important than profit.

Rep 4

We’re fighting because there’s nothing as pure as the love between a young boy, preferably blond and between the ages of eleven and fourteen, and a much older gentleman who spends his days loitering at the Port Authority Bus Terminal.

Leader

No, we’re definitely not.

Rep 1

We’ve been called every name in the book. Hippie.

Rep 2

Radical

Rep 3

Socialist.

Rep 4

Pervert. Pederast. Weirdo. Creep. Creepo. Creppy McCreepster. Chester the Molester. Inmate number 2045682.

Leader

You’re really not helping here.

Rep 1

But we won’t stop fighting until our government truly is a government of the people, for the people.

Rep 2

Until the mechanic in Poughkeepsie lives as well as the banker in Greenwich.

Rep 3

Until our pensions are safe from corporate malfeasance.

Rep 4

Until a mustachioed man can put on a pair of ratty sweatpants and walk openly down the street with his flaxen haired boy-love.

Leader

Okay, you really need to leave.

Rep 4

Can I have this balloon?

Lights.