Does God Listen to Lotto Winners?

So, I have a question?

What are the chances that God would listen if I prayed to him (and I mean “him”… hey, just look at the pictures, it’s a him!) every day for maybe 10 years or something, asking him to help me win a massive lotto super-draw so for the rest of my days I could wallow in all the delights that a ridiculously large amount of money can offer? And of course so I can provide very nicely for my immediate family (not the extended one!) for generations to come, and maybe help the underprivileged (a bit!)? Do you think there’s any chance he’d help me win?

Blessed are the lotto hopefuls

What I’d like to know is, has a study ever been done to determine if lotto winners (and I mean big lotto winners, not the $13.50 I occasionally win) have prayed to God so that they may win? If not then I think a study should be conducted immediately. It might just prove if God really exists?!

Wouldn’t it be kind of interesting if it turned out that 95% of all big lotto winners (globally) did indeed pray to God (and by “God” I mean the one that the Pope talks to) for incredible riches to be bestowed upon them. At 95% I might just become a believer myself. But what if it was only 5% of winners that turned out to be the praying kind? What does that tell us?… No really… what does that tell us, because I’m struggling to come up with anything meaningful. Maybe a meager 5% win ratio tells us that there is no God and that the 5% just got plain lucky! Or does it tell us that God simply won’t listen to self-serving, greedy heathens?

Dear God look how poor I am, please help me win the lotto on Saturday night

Hang on, I think I’m onto something here… and I know what you’re thinking (because I’m thinking it too)… you can’t pray to God for money, because that’s just not how the whole good christian, upright citizen, God bothering thing works. God’s not going to help you win the lotto if it’s just so you can be stinking rich! Is he?

Let’s face it you can only pray to God for non-selfish, non-material things — right? Like you want little Johnny to be able to walk again. Or maybe to take away the cancer that’s killing your father. (By the way I tried this one… it didn’t work!). Or to save the starving, sexually abused children in Africa. (I don’t think that one’s working either). And okay occasionally you might ask for your own life to be spared if you happen to be dangling off a cliff by your fingertips suspended high above a raging sea full of very hungry looking man eating sharks. “Please God save me now and I promise to stop being a sinner and I will follow your teachings for the rest of my days… really I promise!” (This is where you add the sound effect of some poor bugger screaming as he falls to his certain death!). But asking for money? Come on, that’s not how it works!

But God, I could really do with a stack of cash right now. All my problems would be over!

So alright let’s analyse this a bit… let’s see what the bible (which seems to have a lot about God in it) has to say about money and money related matters:…

1 Timothy 6:10 For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs.

…..Yeah, but only “some wandered away”! What about the others, did they do okay?

Proverbs 13:11 Wealth gained hastily will dwindle, but whoever gathers little by little will increase it.

…..Hey, I’ve been gathering it little by little my whole life (and I’m 52) and it sure hasn’t got me very far! A great big “hastily” won stack of cash would help a lot. And if it’s big enough I don’t reckon it’ll dwindle much. Not if I invest it prudently and wisely. Must remember not to give any to Don King!

Proverbs 11:1 A false balance is an abomination to the LORD, but a just weight is his delight.

…..Well it might be his “delight” but he’s not the one living in a shithole with the bills piling up while wondering how the hell you’re going to feed the screaming kids!

Look, we all know the age-old saying “money can’t buy you happiness” and that’s probably true, but the reality is, given the choice, I’d much rather be rich and miserable than poor and miserable. Am I wrong?

Anyway, I think I’m getting slightly off track…. So back to the heart of my question… Does God listen to those who pray to win the lotto?

I don’t know, but I’d sure like to know (and maybe you would too?), so there you go, I’m putting out the challenge…. maybe some fresh-faced, far less cynical person than myself, can take up the challenge and research and write their university thesis on it? It’d have to be more worthwhile than the guy who did his university thesis on why left footed thongs/flip-flops wash up on beaches more often than right footed ones! (True story — I think?).

Oh… and you do know of course that I’d do the research myself if I could. But hey, I don’t have the time…. I’m too busy gathering my wealth little by little!

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