The Man Who Saved My Life
It’s no secret that I live with multiple Mental Illness’. Or maybe it is, I don’t really know. Anxiety, Severe Depression, Bi-Polar disorder. I can’t even remember the last time I was actually happy. What even is happiness? Cause I sure as hell don’t know anymore. I thought I had it all figured out, I thought I had it all under control. But it slipped right through my fingers. I was trying to hold myself together, while I was trying to hold an immature relationship together with a boy who couldn’t grow up. Only took 4 years to figure that shit out. How could I ever trust again? I was done with relationships, I was done putting myself out there. From here on out I wanted nothing more but just sex. With whoever, whenever. So long as there weren’t feelings and no coupley bullshit. So I had a one night stand, a few hook-ups. But there was one that caught me like none other could.
He was really sweet, he was nice to talk to, and my god was he gorgeous. With him, I could fight it all I wanted to, but he was different. I wanted to get to know him. I convinced myself I was done with life. That this would be my last summer, or at the very least I wouldn’t live to see 30. No matter how much I said he was better off without me, he didn’t care. He made me feel alive again, he made me smile (a lot), he made me…happy. At least I think that’s what happiness is. That’s when no other guy appealed to me, no other guy would be good enough for me. He was all I wanted, all I craved. It just so happened that when I came to that realisation, he got taken away. for 6 months. Now I wait around till the sun goes down, just to hear from him.
No matter what life throws my way, or how hard it gets, I know if I just fight through it, in 6 months he’ll come back to me. Than I can leave this town, and the memories behind.
I miss him so fucking much. It’s already been almost 2 months. Which means 4 months to go. I really just want time to fly by. But all it seems to be doing is dragging on.
He gave me a reason to keep fighting for a future. He made me realise there’s still so much I want to do with my life. He gave me a reason to smile. He gave me a reason to be happy. I’ll spend my whole life doing my best to keep that gorgeous smile on his gorgeous face. To make sure that even when he has a bad day, it won’t end bad. Keeping him happy, and always being someone he can turn to when the world let’s him down.❤
I mean, it’s the least I can do. He’s the reason for the smile on my face and the reason I’ll always fight through anything life throws my way.
I know what I want, I want a future with you my darling. I want to wake up everyday and be able to look into your gorgeous eyes. I want to go to sleep every night safe with your arms around me. I want to travel the world with you by my side, and try anything possible with you. I want to hold your hand, and kiss your face whenever I can. I want to experience this world and all it has to offer with you by my side.
Always&Forever is what I’m looking at. I wanna be old and grey haired and wrinkly with you.❤
Stay for a while my darling
I kind of adore you.❤