My System for Creating and Maintaining Happiness Every Day
My “depression” about 2 years ago was a blessing in disguise. It reduced my whole world to a new starting point that gave me the opportunity to make massive changes to how I was functioning and rebuild myself into the person I want to be; free from prevailing social-constructs and ideals, and the judgment of the people I had previously tried to live for and impress.
It’s been a long journey to get to this point, and this year more than ever, after a lot of introspection, experimentation and honest and open conversation with others on the topic, I realized that happiness is always worth fighting for. Why? Because when I’m in a state of happiness I’m able to be more productive, which gets me closer to my goals and aligns my energy with my ambition; I get to be a light for those I love. Since this is one of the few things that I always have complete control over, why not choose to be happy?
So what is happiness? Everyone can and should have their own definition in order to work towards attaining and maintaining it. For me, happiness is a state of peace and true contentedness with one’s being given their circumstances.
This year my understanding of how my own happiness works grew more than ever. Just like the affections of a supportive partner that enables you to be a better version of yourself, happiness is worth fighting for and must be fought for every day. Every day my goal is to come out on the other side of it being at peace with myself and going to sleep knowing that I tried my best for that day’s purpose. In order to get anything done, including being happy, a process has to precede it.
Here’s my process of creating and maintaining happiness divided into a morning routine and an evening routine:
Morning Routine:
1) Do not check social media.
By opening our Instagram feed first thing in the morning, we give energy to other people. We should be using this energy for ourselves to prepare for and prime our day. I try to stay away from my phone as much as I can until my morning routine is done.
2) Smile in the mirror and say “I’m at war with people that don’t want to see me win. I have people that don’t believe that I can win. Today I will prove them wrong by being productive, making the right choices and being on my way to creating access to massive wealth for people of African descent all over the world. Day by day I’m getting closer to this goal. I can feel it. I can touch it. I fear nothing. I can accomplish everything and anything. I’m the captain of my ship and master of my soul. Today is going to be a great day”
The above is my morning mantra I repeat to myself a few times in the morning. It’s a combination of my personal ambitions and mantras belonging to Aliko Dangote, Napoleon Hill, Kanye West, Tim Ferriss, Peter Diamandis and more. What my mantra does is remind me of my own chosen purpose of existing, as well as what I primarily seek accomplishment from. Initially, it started off with “Today is going to be a great day”, but the more reading I’ve done and the more I’ve come to know about myself and my motivations, the more it has evolved into its current form. It’s also a commitment to self-improvement, fearlessness and the responsibility for my destiny and my day: I can make it great. I will make it great.
3) Be grateful for 3 things
Gratitude is a major key for happiness. I found that when I challenged myself to be grateful for 3 (random) things — be it, people, experiences, the sun, my fingers, my bed, you name it — I was slowly and effectively thinking myself into a more accurate and happier existence. Things aren’t as bad as they seem to be. Life is great and there’s an infinite amount of things to be grateful for.
4) Drink lemon water
I do this because it aids in controlling my weight, hydrates me early on in the morning and because it makes me feel bougie af. I also observed that annoying mid-morning headaches, which negatively impacted my productivity, reduced drastically when I started this process.
5) Work out for an hour.
Getting my morning workout done early in the morning gives me a sense of accomplishment early on in the day. If the day ends up being stressful or not as productive as intentioned, at least I did my morning workout! It’s my first win of the day. In addition, our bodies are our machines for maneuvering through life so why not make sure it’s in prime condition? Working out also releases endorphins which make us feel calmer and thus happier.
My daily at home workout:
1. Upper body:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1RbdiqZHg3s
OR
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_KGNq7PEHkU
2. Lower body:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=erKJOb51bCI
OR
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C8X96ItgyOg&t=
3. Core:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qniTvaPXESA
OR
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJlFmxiL11s
4. Spinning:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08f0qFwtuf0&t
OR
6) Shit, Shower (with an ice cold burst at the end), Shave
The hygienic trinity. The early morning dump gives me a sense of control over my body and clears my bowels early on for a fresh new day. The warm shower with a cold burst at the end creates an abridged sauna effect which aids in cardiovascular performance, cleanses the skin and relieves stress. The early morning facial shave makes me feel good by looking good, clean and ready for the day.
7) Eat a healthy, energizing breakfast
Sometimes we’re not upset, mad, angry or sad; we’re just hungry. Making sure I’m nourished early on in the morning ensures I have a good day and, because food is the body’s fuel, I make sure I feed it with the healthiest options I can manage.
My go-to breakfast:
Oatmeal with sliced banana, a teaspoon of peanut butter and a black coffee.
8) 10 minutes of either guided meditation OR I visualize myself with the work ethic, the productivity and the lifestyle I want for myself for that day and/or life
My go-to guided meditation:
9) Create daily to do list from general rolling to do list using a post-it note
I have a super long to-do list I have in my iPhone notes app that I put things into as soon as they arise. I take 5 things from that list that are most urgent or most readily doable given that day’s resources and put them on a post-it note. Setting out the things I have to do for that day via post-it notes makes the day less scary, more manageable and more focused. Why a post-it note? Because I can only fit a limited amount of things on it to ensure I don’t overestimate what I can achieve in one day. I usually stick to 5 things and at the end of those 5 things, I can chill. Also, scratching things off my post-it note to do lists feels amazing.
Evening Routine
1) Take a hot bath
The warmth from the bath is so relaxing. The bubbles are cool too. Bubble baths are a good way to clear one’s mind at the end of the day and unwind with a podcast in the background. Candles are optional.
My go-to podcasts:
2) Put my phone and laptop on the table
My phone and laptop were causing me to have sleepless nights where I’d loop through Twitter, LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat and all the way around again repeatedly until the wee hours of the morning which would negatively affect my productivity for the next day, as well as my mental health. Putting them away on my work table ensures I can get to sleep faster and I don’t spend time consuming positively curated existences of the people I follow on social media for an extended amount of time.
3) Write 3 wins of the day
A lot like the 3 gratitudes of the day in the morning, the 3 wins of the day positively frame the day. My recent wins range from, “I woke up today” to “Had a really cool conversation with my little sister” to “I got the job!”. It can be anything you’re proud of and it doesn’t necessarily have to be big. There’s a lot of victories one can have in the course of a day, including surviving.
4) Make honey and milk tea
In order to get to me to sleep faster and relax, I fix myself up some warm, milky, honey tea.
5) Read a story-driven book for 20 minutes
I save my self-help or industry focused reading for my commute to and from school or work. Before sleep, I read novels. They require less brain activity and utilize more of the imaginative parts of my brain rather than the analytical.
What I’m reading to sleep right now:
6) Sleep. (And wake up in time for my morning routine)
Adopt if you must
My routines are my armor I wear into the battle of life. Each routine is the product of a seed I implanted at the lowest of my lows, that seed being: “What if I lived more intentionally so that I don’t get back here? And if I do, I’ll have the tools need to dig myself back out.” I do this every day except for Sunday. Sunday is cheat day. I wake up late af, write and eat junk food.
It started out with the hygienic trinity and it has culminated into a system that has helped a lot of my friends and their friends to live more intentional and happy lives. I hope by sharing this, it may do that for you too. You deserve to be happy.
