Dolce and gabbana rewritten

The song by ‘Riff Raff’ rewritten by the objectified.

When asked to rewrite a sexist song about 500 million popped into my head. This is obviously a reflection of todays sexist culture. Instantly one of the worst songs ever written (Dolce and Gabbband by Riff Raff) came to mind so I’ve decided to this one.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JxLS-cpgbe0

If you weren’t able to grasp the concept of this song, here are some excerpts from the lyrics:

Sitting but naked sipping drink in my sauna
Only fuck with hoes who rock Dolce & Gabbana
Dolce & Gabbana, Dolce, Dolce & Gabbana
Only fuck with hoes who rock Dolce & Gabbana
Sitting but naked sipping drink in my sauna
Only fuck with hoes who rock Dolce & Gabbana
Dolce & Gabbana, Dolce, Dolce & Gabbana
Only fuck with hoes who rock Dolce & Gabbana
Staying in the press, teeth on my chest
Iceberg season with some slugs across my VEST

I got these bitches acting whole, swang the boulevard
Maybe five jokers, your bitch playing strip POKER
Bitches act like ‘, I’mma be a steamer
I’m a steam CLEANER

I’mma steam clean them, got the jets in low
I swang on elbow, I’m sitting inside, hoe
You already know, rap gang go
how I get down, you know how I’m known to climb
Pop trunk, show surround, leave the whole block drowned.

These disgust me so much that I think “surely this song is just a piss take!” But no, sadly not. So here’s a version of the text rewritten by the objectified’s point of view:

Sitting how I like drinking water at work

Only like guys who have brains and manners x100

Summertime sadness creeps in my grill .

got these dicks acting gross, run of the mill.

you mysogonistic loser, think you’re such a cruiser

Won’t get in your spa, i’m not taking a bar (of this)

you should wash out your mouth,

no girl likes you, you won’t be heading south.

Treat us like objects you awful jerk

no-ones turned on by your ugly ass smirk.

the only place you’re climbing is into a hole,

you’re uglier than a naked molerat.