It may give you a feeling of virtuousness to believe anyone who refuses to engage in this grievance…
Steve Smith

Please tell me where I said it was an “either, or” situation. Just because we center on the impact that one person has caused to another, doesn’t mean we don’t care about their feelings. You are conflating feelings with fragility/defensiveness. If your feelings turn into toxic behavior they are now more than just feelings. We should care about everyones feelings, but focus and prioritize impact or harm.