The Creative’s Curse

You will write things, and they will suck.
You will draw things, and they will be terrible.
You will make music, and nobody will like it.

You will be rejected by everyone who knows you, so you reach for different ones. You avoid others for the sake of communication. You remove yourself from the local equation so you can be part of a global solution.

Above all you write more.
You draw more.
You play more.

You sit in a room, alone with your thoughts, hoping to turn chaos to order. You wonder if Hemingway drank chamomile.
You muse over Picasso’s favorite meal.
You mirror the drinking habits of a Kurt Cobain.

Maybe it’s a trick of the substance, instead of the mind.

And you write more.
You draw more.
You sing more.

One day, it changes. Someone notices you don’t suck, you aren’t terrible, you aren’t worthless. Your ideas and art and music are catching on, and some people understand. Your heart has touched theirs.

You are no longer alone.

Someone understands.

You write more.
You draw more.
You sing more.
You do it for them.

Your art is embraced by strangers! They adore your work. What more could you ask from life? Finally someone understands your sacrifice!

Except they don’t really know you. Not the real you.
They only know your output.

They ask for more.

So you write more.
You draw more.
You sing more.

You are no longer a person, you are a vessel. A portal for light and color and words and sound. They don’t want you, but they need what comes from you.

You drink. You cry. You smash your head against the instrument of your creativity. You hate everyone. You love everyone. You beg for mercy. You long to be released of these ideas, of these visions that claw into your brain.

But still you write more.
You draw more.
You sing more.
You do it for you.

You will never stop.

Even if they leave you will not stop.
You will write to no one.
You will sing to empty chairs.
You will paint for the stars.
You will speak into silence.
Just like you did when you started.

You will never stop.

This is The Creative’s Curse.

Thanks for reading! If you liked this, you’ll probably like my free guide — 101 Ways To Break Out of a Creative Rut.