What a Male Millennial Entrepreneur Can Learn From Older Women

First off — I’m not talking about cougar hunting here. Let’s take sex out of the equation and focus on the life lessons. Ever since moving into the Arts District of Downtown Los Angeles, I’ve developed some amazing friendships with my neighbors, most of whom are dog owners and older women. Being a young social entrepreneur isn’t easy. Like a marriage, my company needs constant attention and support. That’s why I really mean it when I say:

“I am married to the job.”

All kidding aside, I’m really non-stop focused on my company, which makes it hard to date.

Let me quickly recap my childhood, so you can better understand where I’m going with this: I’m the youngest of three boys, with a four-year gap between my middle brother and me. I grew up on the Internet mostly because I was socially awkward, ADHD, manic: super focused on whatever interested me at that moment. I was born in 1987, so I’m currently experiencing the time in my life when I am supposed to rise to new levels of awareness and maturity. I’m referring to the Saturn Return years.

Growing up on IRC, ICQ, AIM chat services and phpBB based forums, I had some real “friends,” but I mostly talked to strangers from around the world, who I connected with on a regular basis. Today we have Facebook, Twitter, Whatsapp, Skype, and a slew of other social/messaging platforms to develop different identities if we choose to: connecting with known friends or completely random strangers.

When it comes to dating, we have Tinder, OKCupid, Happn, Hinge, and Bumble. I actually downloaded Bumble recently because I support the #LeanInTogether movement and appreciate that the woman has to make the first move. The pressure is always on the man to act first, but when you are as socially awkward as I am, it’s hard to act smooth like the characters I admire on TV and in movies. Regardless of how awesome I think my profile photos are and how nice and simplistic my profile description is, I don’t find any matches.

What’s wrong with me?

The truth is, there are a lot of things “wrong” with me, but that’s what makes me “me”. I don’t believe that anyone can make a real connection based on a few photos, a brief profile, and simple messaging back and forth. The real spark comes when you actually meet that person face to face. I personally would rather meet someone in person for the first time and have that be my first memory of them, instead of an illusion of that person based on photos and clever messaging, to only be disappointed later.

Call me old school…

Part of my neighborhood crew includes two older gals who have a wellspring of knowledge. Both are very different from one another and continue to instill wisdom of how to do the right thing at my age.

My “Australian Mom” who is an experienced product developer has taught me the value of proper marketing and to remember that everything is always negotiable. When writing this bit, I asked her what she taught me in the short time we have known each other and she responded:

“Don’t bullshit and be nice.”

She has a way with words.

My fellow crazy dog person of a neighbor is the main reason why I’m writing this piece. She inspires me everyday to write and to never stop; something will stick sooner or later. Walk with no shame, stay curious, and everything you do is market research. These are the life lessons given by Thuc Nguyen of The Bitch Pack.

There have been other women who continue to inspire me to work harder and do better. When I first moved to the Arts District I miraculously connected with a veteran political activist, who has strong ties in the community from her extended time as a resident here. She quickly taught me about local politics and how anything is possible as long as you never stop fighting for what you believe in.

There is one slightly older woman who I’ve been lucky enough to have a closer quasi-romantic relationship with, while still keeping our distance because of our busy schedules. It’s a relief not having to worry about frivolous communication back and forth. Unanswered texts for extended periods of time don’t faze us and we can pick things up quickly once we finally make time to connect.

How did I meet this amazing, intellectual lady? It was face to face for the first time at a young entrepreneurs networking event. It’s very worthwhile dating a USC Executive MBA graduate as a young CEO. Her intense work ethic inspires me to always strive for excellence and to limit distractions when necessary.

I didn’t think I was going to mention this one local lady, but after reading her post “Looking for Your Dirty 30s? Here’s How I Found My Worthy 30s” I’d have to say Audrey Bellis is one of the most hard working, fearless women I’m grateful to personally know.

Funny story:

I actually was a last minute third wheel on a date Audrey was going to in my neighborhood. She was meeting a doctor who drove from the South Bay, who only got the date out of persistence. I felt bad for the guy because I just walked in on his date and decided to stay because I was curious how awkward it was going to be.

If it’s one thing I’ve learned from Audrey, it’s how to be fearless.

I’ve also chaperoned one of Thuc’s dates too- “market research”.

I love people watching. Whether I’m walking around, eating a meal, or on the metro, I like to just observe and take my attention away from my phone. I’m a big fan of Alfred Hitchock’s “Rear Window” where Jimmy Stewart peers into the lives of his neighbors through his rear window purely out of boredom when stricken to his wheel chair after a nasty accident. Over time, we become familiar of the different lives and routines of each neighbor. One who always intrigued me was Miss Lonelyhearts. Date after date she could never find a suitable suitor. In the end she tries to take her own life, until she hears the music being played by a neighbor that reignites her sense of worth and curiosity.

We all experience degrees of loneliness through our lifetime, but sometimes it’s appreciating that thing or that person directly in front of us the entire time that keeps us moving forward.

Jim Rohn is famous for saying:

“We are the average of the five people we spend the most time with.”

Therefore, I’m glad to be influenced by these five women who help make me the man I am and the one I’m becoming.

Todd Terrazas is the Founder and CEO of Brainitch, a next-generation public safety technology company located in the Arts District of Downtown Los Angeles, striving to make an impact on the world. Follow him on Twitter: @ToddTerrazas