In a bid to raise money toward Tofino’s crumbling water infrastructure, district staff have announced the DryTown sweepstakes. The contest is open to both residents and visitors, who participate by guessing which day the town runs out of water and shuts down this summer, and buying a $15 ticket for that day. The prize will be shared among those who have guessed the correct day.
Grand prize is a tanker truck full of Ucluelet water* that will be exempt from District of Tofino water use bylaws, meaning the lucky winner can do whatever crazy thing they want with it — wash their car, fill a hot tub, water a garden on odd-numbered days, even run it through a high-flush toilet.
The original name for the contest was “F*cked Again,” but cooler heads prevailed and the “DryTown” name was chosen. Staff anticipate that it will raise between $60,000 and $80,000, depending on uptake from the public, which should be enough to replace about two metres of crumbling water main. “Every little bit helps,” said Public Works employee Plum Feller. “We been jabbering about Tofino’s water situation for, like, a thousand years. Well here’s the chance to put your money where your mouth is. Think we’ll run out on August 10? Fifteen bucks buys you a ticket! Bet the pumps’ll gargle dry on Labour Day? Fifteen bucks!”
* NOTE: Ucluelet water may be slightly to severely discoloured, but we are assured that it’s completely safe for drinking and household use. The DoT says it takes no responsibility for any adverse effects on health or property.
WRITER: Toffy T Townie is a pseudonymous Tofitian who moved here from Ontario two years ago. She developed a keen sense of the absurdity of life in Tuff while working in the hospitality industry (which makes hiding her identity a smart thing to do).
PIC: Drips banner by Phil McIver, unchanged under Creative Commons attribution licence.