Who stole Queer Culture? How radical feminism appropriated gay culture

When i was a 13 year old closeted teen, afraid the world would discover that i liked men, i had very few outlets. Living in a post-totalitarian conservative country wasn’t easy, and i didn’t have anything to hold on to. That was until one day i saw a film called The Living End. The plot is simple, two gay HIV+ men kill a cop and have to run from the authorities in a fatalistic journey of hedonism. They were angry, filled with despair, had a life expectancy of a rodent and yet, they were not whining, they were flipping the middle finger to the world and fucking bareback on trashy motel rooms. I was immediately obsessed, I had to watch more, Poison, Paris is Burning, My Own Private Idaho, even Go Fish (I still don’t understand lesbian sex, but that’s not the point). All this amazing films where the protagonists were not seeking approval, not fighting for inclusion, not hiding. They were looking at a society that saw them as deviants, as queers, and screaming Fuck You back to it, all while fucking each other. Queer Cinema is not married same sex couples with a furry pet in the suburbs, it’s the disenfranchised, the freaks, the non apologetic crowd of queers that served no purpose other than to be themselves, it was nihilistic, pointless and fucking fabulous.

So, what do a bunch of indie films from the early 90s have to do with current 3rd wave feminism? Well, nothing and everything. 3rd wave feminism represents the opposite of what Queer culture used to be about, living on the edge, surviving without help, failing in doing so but never, not for one second, stop being yourself, dismissing society as the oppressor it was and rebelling by not giving a fuck. You may notice I am talking about Queer culture in the past tense, that’s because Queer culture, the one I love, the one that helped me cope is gone. It was replaced by a group of privileged, entitled, mostly white people, who use it as a vessel to search for oppression. The key difference is they are not oppressed, and as much as I romanticize the idea of reckless fucking and drug use, without any disregard for the status quo, it’s not something I chose, it’s not something any gay person in the early 90s would have chosen. Being gay meant abuse, rejection and the possibility of contracting an incurable disease that would lead to a horrendous death. Gay people reacted to this, expressing both their dismay and their fuck you attitude in film. Now, I hear queer coming out the mouth of Anita Sarkeesean, surrounded by other entitled feminists, declaring themselves the moral owners of a shadow of a purely rebellious cause that has been reduced to political correctness and being the biggest freak you can so when people ask you why did you dye your pubes in three different colors, you can scream homophobic or transphobic back at them, forcing them to learn your 14 syllable long gender and your made up sexual orientation. This is not being transgressive, nor rebellious, nor special, this is what entitled boring people who don’t deserve the fucking honor of being part of the insanely wonderful cluster fuck that Queer culture is, interpret as edgy, as rebellious, but is nothing but that, a bad interpretation of a sentiment their minds couldn’t begin to understand, because the characters in those films, the people who created them and the fabulous freaks who inspired them, they would never try to get pity, they would never apologize to someone higher up in the oppression hierarchy, they would never make an image or a word as an identity. We are queers, we are the way we are, if you don’t like it, you can suck my dick. That’s it.

So next time you see a multicolored attention seeking ultra politically correct demisexual non-binary person (woman…), as hard as it is, know that behind the layers of bullshit, pity and entitlement, she is mimicking something wonderful, something she can’t understand, something that saved my life. That mentality will eventually go away, gay people can’t be oppressed forever and the multicolored freaks will eventually be called out on their bullshit and forced back to live with their parents in the suburbs, but the sentiment will never die, I will never apologize for who I am, nor will I apologize for not recognizing what this people aren’t, and they are not queer. They will never be.