A clear and resounding YES please

Toni Radcliffe
Aug 27, 2017 · 4 min read

I don’t tend to talk much about my sexuality. Thus-far in life it hasn’t been the source of any significant drama which, combined with my distaste for labels, has meant it’s been more background noise than headline material. Those who need to, know, and it’s no-one else’s business. I’m a sliding number in the Kinsey scale, averaging out at 2. I’m “queer”.

The world did not mind when I got married, nor did it so much as shrug when I divorced just 5 years later. We tried, we failed, and the world continued to spin. No one voted on my marriage; there was no opinion poll to check if it was a good idea. We just filled out the paperwork, paid our money and it was done.

I have no intention of marrying again, but I do like being able to walk down the street holding hands with the person I love. I like being able to talk excitedly about them without worries about judgment or significant consequences. I like feeling safe and accepted for who I am, including who I love. Love is a wonderful thing when it happens to you, straight, gay and everything in between: love is love is love.

In a few weeks’ time — high court challenge notwithstanding — we’re going to get the chance to participate in a nation-wide opinion poll on whether we think people of the same sex can marry each other. It’s not a vote: it’s a non-binding, completely voluntary postal survey run by the Australian Bureau of Statistics costing we taxpayers $122 million. That’s a very expensive opinion poll that’s not even needed since reliable community polling has found support for marriage equality steadily rising over the years to now sit at around 70 %.

We don’t need this poll to evaluate community sentiment. We already know there’s majority support to change the damn law. It’s deeply flawed and designed to fail: designed to be forgotten about by the well-intentioned LGBQTI allies leading busy lives, the parents busy with sports practice and school runs, the over-worked professionals. The kinds of people who are guaranteed to vote are the same kinds of people who write letters to politicians and newspaper editors, who call talk-back radio and who stand on street corners handing out flyers. When a vote is voluntary, the loudest are heard and in contemporary Australia there are some decibel-shattering hate mongers out there. If you’ve the stomach for it, take a look at some of the material being distributed publicly by those who think people like me don’t deserve to exist.

I’ve heard some people say that they’re happy for same sex couples to have legal unions, but that marriage should remain a heterosexual affair. They mean well, but the ultimate message that sends is that queer love is less than straight love; that queer relationships aren’t as valuable or worthy of tradition and social respect. That we don’t deserve the same rights and responsibilities as the rest of the community.

I’ve heard people say they’ll vote no because gay sex makes them uncomfortable, or because they don’t agree with gay couples raising families. Given that we’re already out here, having sex, building families and getting on with our lives, this argument holds no logic. Voting no isn’t going to make those things magically go away.

I’ve heard arguments that letting people marry who they love will stifle religious freedoms, institute a dogma of political correctness, and irrevocably alter the fabric of society. I remind people that the question is “should we let people get married”. That’s it. No one will be forced to perform gay marriages if they don’t want to. No one is going to stop you from practicing your faith in your own home and heart as you see fit. As for the peril of political correctness, that’s some kind of weird fantasy the hard right have going on. Most of us just try to not be deliberately hurtful of others because it’s the right thing to do. You know, like most religious texts asks us to do (unto others…).

There is no honour in these arguments.

Those calling for you to vote no are doing so because they think people like me are worth less. Some of them would quite prefer me to not exist. Some of them will spread hate and lies in their effort to stop other people from expressing their love for each other. Coming face-to-face with that sort of loathing can seriously upset my equilibrium, and is so much worse for queer kids coming to terms with who they are.

If you’re on the fence about this issue, or considering boycotting the whole affair over the massive waste of money and diminution of human rights it represents, please vote and vote yes. Encourage those around you to vote yes. If we must have this egregious opinion poll, let’s use it to stand up to hate and show that Australians value love in all its rainbow flavours.

Send a message our politicians cannot ignore. Post your form for love. Vote YES.

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Ecology, development and sustainability nerd, working for a brighter world.

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