Full story on The Daily Telegraph website

EXPEWSIVE: Life After Death Story Pretty Huge, But The Backstory Is Bigger

By Podiatric Affairs Correspondent, Washya Feet-farken

What the authorities don’t want you to know is that this person died of Dirtypeditis (‘dity foot syndrome’) which is now reaching epidemic proportions and will become the world’s biggest killer in a decade.

But it could’ve been prevented.

To put it in perspective, this represents a bigger threat to our existence than ISIS, Pauline Hanson, empirical evidence campaigner Malcolm Roberts or the spike in Queensland deaths due to ‘dutch oven related’ phenomena.

And it’s not that the authorities don’t know — they don’t want to know and they also don’t want you to know and it’s all part of a sensational cover-up.

Part of the government’s strategy includes feeding stories to the media to divert the public’s attention including the Pandemonium After A Prosciutto Purveyor Pursued A Pilfering Pensioner all the way to Aldi, lane three!

It’s understood the multinational WD-40 Company, which owns a string of household brandnames, had offered to kickstart a global corporate philanthropy program, which aimed to reduce cases of dirty foot syndrome by an amazing 90% within a year and completely eliminate it within three years.

But willfully blind bureaucrats — acting on liability legal advice — rejected the offer, which centred on the distribution of one million cakes of soap.

They have so far refused to officially acknowledge the epidemic, despite hard evidence including the picture that appeared alongside The Daily Telegraph story (above) and statistics showing that most Australians now do not even wear thongs in trips to convenience stores.

An investigation has been launched to shed light on the circumstances surrounding the death of the person pictured above after concerne relatives raised the alarm.

But so far it has led to nothing other tham the shocking discovery that medical documents related to the case have mysteriously vanished.

Welfare advocates have noted the death may have been the culmination of a combination of tragic factors including the obvious fact the victim didn’t get a shower in before carking it.

Separately, mitigating against a backlash, the story by Yasmine Jeffery, confirms a crucial piece of information that high school debate teams have been grappling with for years, confirming “death is an inevitable consequence of life”. Case closed on that one.

Now it’s over to Australia: Is change afoot? Decision makers in Canberra may be persuaded to ‘walk the walk’ (at least in thongs) and not just ‘talk the talk’ by new reasearch showing they’d be a shoe-in at the next election.

#auspol #nswpol #auslaw #filthyfeet #solvol

What do you think? Do you wash your feet or is it none of our business?