I’m trans, super queer, and also have issues with being touched, so I very much get where you’re coming from. I find it especially hard be unexpectedly touched by a stranger, and like you, I react much more negatively to unexpected touch from men than women. In my case, it’s due to my history of abuse, but I know some people who were never abused and simply don’t like to be touched intimately very much.
I also know very well that bigotry can be a factor in these things, and I’m not trying to refute the original piece by any means. But I think the English-speaking West needs to have more openness to the idea that some of us just don’t like to be touched much. And that’s okay, and not a judgment on the person we’d prefer not to be touched by.
Those who know me well always ask before they hug me. It’s becoming one of my litmus tests for how close I can be with someone: can they respect me “hugs with consent only” boundary, or do they get uncomfortable and weird about it? I’m finding it works fairly well.