What’s in it for you?
I hardly write about relationship issues simply because I am no relationship expert but these days, random articles pop up about what women are looking for in men; what men want in a woman…it is driving me crazy!
As these issues come up on my social media feed a lot, I have decided to lend my voice to this discussion
I think many of us approach this issue the wrong way.
It’s not generally about what you want in a man/ woman. It’s about what you can offer.
Hear me out.
In business relationships or in the work place, potential business partners, investors and employers (i.e. potentials) firstly advertise an opportunity and show you what they have to offer you.
You see the opportunity, get excited and start creating a narrative to show what you have to offer in return and why you are the first among equals.
Then you arrange an interview where both parties determine if they are the right fit. An offer is made and accepted or rejected based on certain considerations and uniqueness.
In the workplace, we sit and think about what we want our next opportunity to be. We continuously improve ourselves and increase our value to offer the maximum return to potentials. We then decide whether or not our values are mismatched.
In the romantic field, a lot of the relationship woes I read about are a result of mismatched values. We need to understand our value and make informed decisions about our expectations.
If you cannot adequately articulate what you can offer a potential, you will always be disappointed with the people you attract.
And sex is NOT the only thing you have to offer. Don’t even get me started on that! Sex is a by-product of a healthy relationship not the objective.
Money is not a consideration either.
Even fools have money and still remain fools. With this I always say: “I have the ability to generate wealth”. Money is a by-product of that ability.
Now that we have cleared the air on these usual suspects (money and sex), if you are in a relationship or desire one, think about what you have to offer and write it down like you will a CV or resume.
Personally, I found this habit to help me decide whether a Potential Love Interest (PLI) is a good match or not.
As nice as swiping on Tinder or Coffee Meets Bagel or whatever dating app you use is, if you do not have a thorough understanding of what you have to offer and what class of PLIs will value your offer, you’d always assume all men/women are the same.
What is your relationship CV made up of?