Healing Our Voice Story, Why it’s Essential
The most powerful tool you have is your voice, if you know how to use it.
Do people listen to you? Do they really listen to you? Do you feel heard? I see far too many people who feel they are using their voice but are not being heard. Now more than ever it’s essential for you to heal your voice story and step into the power of your voice so your message will be heard.
Far too many people use their voice to wound in a broken world or their voices are simply not heard in a way that can heal and help others. Many people know they don’t like their voice or feel they don’t sound confident. But the voice issues we have run a bit deeper than just the sound we hear coming out of our mouths. I teach a concept called Psychology of the Voice. There is a sub-conscious process at work, we know our lives will forever be changed when we heal our voice story. By healing our voice story, our lives will catapult to the next level and we must be ready take on that vulnerability. The voice is the most vulnerable tool we have for it is the orchestra of the heart. Now, even more than ever it’s time for our voices and our message to be heard.
The problem begins long before we realize we have a voice that does not make people listen. The problem starts with the dings of life as I like to call them. These dings can start as early as childhood and compound throughout our lives. This Psychology of the Voice or the dings can be especially profound to our voice story if we are raised by an addict or a narcissistic parent who made it very clear that our voice does not matter. Maybe we have a bad marriage or a bad school experience or a nightmare boss, dings are anything that make us question if our voice is worth listening to.
Every ding, be it good or bad goes into our subconscious mind. The subconscious then goes to work to protect our heart, our vulnerability. The voice is the most vulnerable tool we have because every time we use it, we are expressing the feelings of the heart. The minute we open our mouths, we subject ourselves to judgement and on a conscious and/or sub-conscious level we know that. The subconscious wants to protect us so it tells the muscle memory of our voice, our face, our breathing what to do or not do to protect us. We don’t even realize this is happening. Over time a layer of muscle memory forms that is full of bad habits, keeping our voice from being properly heard. We create a voice that robs us of our confidence, a voice that is not heard and does not captivate or command the attention of those we are speaking to, a voice that we work very hard not to use due to the fear that maybe we aren’t worth being heard. This new, protected, guarded voice that we lay in overtime solidifies and the results are damaging not only to ourselves but to the people we were put here on earth to influence.
At some point in our lives we become aware of this, that we aren’t connecting, aren’t making a difference, aren’t changing anything or anyone, that we appear lackluster and aren’t being heard. Not feeling heard destroys our confidence. The voice we have created, laid in is no longer our greatest ally but now works as our enemy. We can see in the faces of our audience that we are lackluster, that we are not heard.
So out of desperation to captivate, we begin to think we can deliver a solid voice, a confident voice in the moment. But we can’t. The top layer of muscle memory, the voice we’ve laid in, the voice story we’ve created is what will come out until we lay in a new layer and change the story our voice tells. The trauma of our lives is in the muscles and it’s not going anywhere until we heal and form a new layer. Not breathing correctly, not speaking with confidence, not captivating the audience with our full vocal orchestra, not sharing our message and making an impact are all the ways we train ourselves to play small but with our voice. Our impact on the world becomes non-existent and our frustration with what we see going on in the world around us exhausts us because we feel powerless to make a difference, to be heard, to confidently share our opinions/thoughts/dreams/ideas/goals and feel heard and as if we are making a difference.
This is a tragedy.
There must be a shift within us. We must heal our voice story and lay in good vocal habits so we can confidently and share our message to the world. The world needs us now more than ever, it’s time to speak our truth…beautifully.