It’s happened. Deviant. Kinky. Perverted. Unnatural. Freakish. Depraved. Twisted. I’m wondering how many of those words I’ll use writing this blog. How many you will utter reading it?

But what we did was mind-blowingly sexy. Legal too. Just. We are all grown ups. Consenting adults. So. Your choice. Stop reading now, say enough filth. I’m off to read Peter Rabbit or stay around and get a tissue or two ready.

It wasn’t a simple one moment happening. It filled a weekend. A debauched two days.

The first part, the Saturday, I’ll have to relate from what I have been told. I wasn’t there. Not until the evening, anyway.

My involvement started when my doorbell rang at about midday on the Saturday. Lizzie. Flushed. Breathless. Looking as though she’d run all the way from hers to mine, the best part of a mile.

“Lizzie! What’s up?” Her face broke into a broad smile.

“I’m surprised you don’t know, Witch. It’s all your doing.”

I invited her in as I asked, “What is?”

“John.”

“What about him?”

“I took your advice.”

“About what?”

I’d settled her in the kitchen and put the coffee on. She was talking in riddles to wind me up, but I had a shrewd idea where this was leading and it excited me no end.