The hole that time forgot
Everything you wanted to know about muffing
Ok, maybe time didn’t forget it, but people are not always aware of it. I’ve refrained from talking about muffing so far because it’s the main thing that people talk about when it comes to “how to actually have sex with a trans woman”, and I think there’s a whole lot more to trans sex.
So, what is muffing? Basically, it’s sensual exploration of the inguinal canals. Time for a biology lesson. As I’ve said before, everyone starts out roughly the same. With the first surge of in-utero hormones, our gonads develop. When those hormones are primarily androgenic, the gonads develop into testes which, over time, go exploring through little tunnels, and emerge into a little bag of skin. They’re connected up into the body through these tunnels, which play a very important role in temperature regulation. Bodies are sometimes stupid, and evolution decided that testes should be a little bit colder than core body temperature. So they hang out chilling in the breeze. When it gets cold, they tug themselves up and hide out in the warm. The place they get pulled up into is the same place they came from — those tunnels called the inguinal canals. Fun fact: they can also be popped back in manually, which is how tucking is quite often done (very little research has been done about this, but it’s something you should probably only do on the regular if you’re not so worried about overheating and fertility).
So now we know what they are. How does that help us? Well, two things really.
- There are nerve endings there. Where there are nerve endings, there are things that can be done in sexy time.
- It’s a hole (well, two holes!) Holes are useful if you want to put something in a hole.
First things first, they are not huge, and certainly don’t start out that way! Women early on in their transition will recognise that tucking can be difficult and painful — this is because the testes are still quite large, and the canals are small. But over time, it becomes easier, as the canals stretch. The first time I tried muffing, I could barely fit a little finger inside. Now I can fit a small dildo, and I know of some trans women who can fuck an erect penis. I’m sure it goes without saying, but do not rush to stretch them. It will happen over time, and forcing it could be very painful, and potentially dangerous.
The best thing to do is start with a finger and explore. Feel around the area where the testes descend from, and you should find a little indent. Delve deeper and you’ll find the inguinal canal. Try it out when you’re masturbating and see what feels good. A common recommendation is to play with the inguinal ring — a little slightly hard ring about 3 or 4 cm in. There’s a concentration of nerve endings here, and they can be stimulated in a pleasurable way.
I’ve had very mixed feelings about muffing over time. It can be a difficult thing to learn how to do well, and around an area that can easily go from pleasurable to uncomfortable, playing with a partner can be a frustrating endeavour. The best thing is for the two of you to have chance to explore slowly and carefully and find what you like. And I can not emphasise this enough: keep you nails clipped short. Long nails are a sure fire way to make muffing uncomfortable!
In time, when you know what you like, try playing with toys. I’ve found that beginner anal toys (a small plug can be used like a short dildo) actually make a really good size for when you first start out.
And lastly, the one thing you will get out of muffing is a feeling of being filled, that you don’t quite get from anal. When my genital dysphoria is bad, it can be a nice way for me to explore sexy feels safely. And when it comes to the combination of dysphoria and trauma, muffing feels far enough removed from typical sexual contact, and has helped me at times when other masturbation would be seriously triggering.
So give it a go, and as always take time, go slow, and give yourself (and any partners) time to explore.
