What Do I Do Now That The World Didn’t End? (…yet)
I always wondered what would come next
Over the weekend, Prism & Pen published my memoir short about going through trans conversion therapy as a 90s girl in Mississippi. I waited decades to tell the truth.
I couldn’t bring myself to confess these secrets while I felt that persistent fear that my dad, my mom, my twin brother, my older sister modeled and trained me to reflect. All my life, showing them even a hint of the harm they’d done to me sent them into panicked, abusive rages.
The sick part of me refused to let go of their lie that the red mist descends upon them so quickly because I did something to cause it. But no matter what I’ve changed, no matter how healthy or whole I’ve come back to them, their addictions never stop. Their abusive behavior toward me never changes. They may forever remain unwilling or unable to see beyond their pain and simply acknowledge what they did and how it affected me.
How ironic that letting go of the need to ever be worthy of their love is what finally…
