A Lesson in Detachment

If you move around a lot and have never lived in a place long enough, two things may happen —You either learn to value everything more, be it place, people, surroundings because of its impermanence or you don’t value anything at all knowing you are only there for a short while.

If you live by first case, you are someone who feels every emotion deeply that includes pain, while in second case you don’t allow yourself to feel at all that makes you miss on beautiful emotions like love.

People strive and struggle to find balance between these two extremes. Most of them are doing it right too. They live all their life trying to achieve stability in every sphere of their existence. And stability comes with feeling of permanence.

Isn’t it ironic we aspire for things in life to be permanent when life itself has an expiry date.

I recently had an intense conversation with a friend about Hindu Cremation ceremony. I honestly never understood the brutal process of burning the body of someone you loved deeply.

The friend told about one ritual in the Cremation Process that requires a person to drop a heavy log to skull of the departed cracking it, to ease the ash making process. I was beyond appalled. I just did not get it. Like how in the world can you do it to your loved one?

I asked him the same. Here is the explanation — According to ceremony, this is the part about getting detached, part about understanding the soul has left the body and it feels nothing. It is about acceptance.

I am not a religious person but I have come to an understanding that humans have a way with finding reasons to make themselves feel better. Religions tell us to not be scared and suggest a way of life to reach a happy ending. Like fairytales they make us a believer and gives us hope.

Then there are set of people who have embraced detachment. An outsider view of world — A set trying to achieve the unrealistic permanence and another lot that has accepted impermanence and is happy and grateful for whatever comes along the way.

Travellers are perfect example of the latter. They don’t live in a place long enough to be attached, never have long term plans, living a new day everyday, do not possess a lot, can go without constant assurance of permanence, have accepted life in its most impermanent form but with gratitude for every breath taken. Like Travellers anyone doing anything to make themselves happy and making everyday count is respecting life.

I wish more people can understand this impermanence. When they do, they will quit worrying about petty issues of life and be nothing but happy. They will work towards making their life a beautiful time by exploring, creating, doing something they are passionate about and will not just die trying to reach the mirage of permanence.