Like a duck

A short story about change

It’s been.

Only a little while, mind you, since I’ve written anything for myself.

And let's be clear first and foremost that it is okay and that I am okay.

I’m not going to should myself to death — but I believe it’s appropriate in this case that perhaps I should make an effort to make time to start putting some thoughts on paper again.

So here. We. Go.

A year of change.

I’ve had some engaging conversations with different people, peers and otherwise, since writing my essay on personal conflict and development “Parrots don’t drink Tea” several months ago (I’m beginning to sense a theme here). It’s been a true eye-opener as to how much I enjoy sharing my experiences and thoughts by way of storytelling — certainly more so than I did when I first started writing years ago. I do believe that is the point of it all, however; to continue learning and growing and immersing oneself into deeper and deeper levels of ideas. And I do feel like I’m growing.

I mean, I can really feel it.

I believe I’ve reached a higher plateau of thinking, at least when it comes to understanding myself.

It’s like everything that was previously hindering my efforts to get ahead in life are suddenly gone. I owe it to the people in my life. Family, friends, counsellors. More importantly, I owe it to myself for having, gaining, maintaining the presence of mind to make decisions objectively. I am proud to say that I’ve become much better at evaluating events around me as well as approaching potentially life changing dedications whilst placing my rational foot forward.

I’ve recently only started to deal with some of the emotional aspects that have contributed to some past ailments, but it’s all fine. Because I now have to tools to handle myself.

Baby steps, baby steps.

I’m certainly glad to once again be able to clearly and conclusively make decisions. I’m definitely starting to feel like my old self again — I don’t mean, however, feeling as though I’m the same person, because I’m definitely not.

What I mean is — I feel like I can actually think. Think and justify and remember and have confidence that the decisions that I’m currently making are the right ones. It’s like everything is reset, and I’m a new person.

Finally, a new person.

Oh change, you’ve no idea how much I’ve missed you. Never leave again.

I’m happy to say that the path I’m currently footing feels right, and by the universe is it amazing.

Here’s to the end of a year full of self discovery and understanding. I’m sure, with every bone and every fibre, in fact, that everything will be okay from now on.

Because I will make it so.