Top 5 offbeat: bizarre news articles from around the world

It seems that everything you hear or see or read in the media right now is how Islamic State will kill us all and the world will end if Donald Trump becomes president and Europe will be overrun by immigrants or right wing nuts (whichever happens sooner). Well screw that. Let’s take a look at something fun and bizarre that happened last week. 

5. For world records, Indian man removes teeth and gets over 500 tattoos

How was your last visit to the dentist? I’m guessing not as „fun“ as for this guy.

So this Indian dude named Har Parkash Rishi aka Guinness Rishi had all his teeth removed so he can put 500 drinking straws and 50 burning candles in his mouth. Because why not, right? Haven’t we all thought about doing that at one point of our lives.

“I am the world record holder of 496 straws in my mouth… For that record, I needed space ,” Rishi told Reuters Television.

Wise words… wise words….

Rishi also has over 500 tattoos, which include 366 flags. But that seems boring as hell next to straws and candles in the mouth. Plus without teeth he can tattoo stuff into his mouth after he runs out of skin.

Full article:

4. Woof justice as policeman catches fleeing suspect by barking like a dog

By KRoock74 (Own work) [CC BY-SA 3.0 (], via Wikimedia Commons

First of all I would like to compliment the journalist who thought of this headline. It must have taken him all night.

In Great Britain the police chased a car full of teens and after cops used stinger devices to bring the vehicle to a stop, the four law abiding citizens thought the police needs some excercise and decided to go jogging. One of the escapees was rather quick and didn’t wait for the officer.

„I shouted out I was a police dog handler and to stay still — and I then let out a couple of barks,“ the officer told the Mirror.

Apparently the cop was such a good barker that sprinter stopped to look for the dog. The guy was even more confused when he didn’t see a dog, but a police officer, who tackled him.

“He ran across the school field and I knew we were never going to catch him, so I let out a couple of barks,” the policeman added.

Good job officer!

Full story:

3. The Rock is considering running to be US president

By The original uploader was Mshake3 at English Wikipedia [CC BY-SA 2.5 (], via Wikimedia Commons

Can you smell what the president is cooking?

I didn’t want to write about politics, but I guess this isn’t really politics. Well anyways, actor and wrestler Dwayne „The Rock“ Johnson confessed that he hasn’t ruled out going into politics. Why? Who cares, let’s move on.

Okay, we should listen to his explanation. So, mister Rock, why do you want to go into politicts?

„I can’t deny that the thought of being governor, the thought of being president, is alluring,“ he told CQ.

Well, there you have it folks. Before I finish on this topic I just want to put on a tinfoil hat and mention the movie „Idiocracy“, which depicts a dystopian society where advertising, commercialism and cultural anti-intellectualism run rampant. In that movie the United States is run by president Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho who is a wrestler. Get it? President DWAYNE who is a WRESTLER.

Full story: GQ Magazine

2. Young boy finds crystal meth in his Kinder Surprise egg

By User:Mysid (Own photograph, 0.75 € spent on the egg.) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons

According to the dictionary „kinder“ comes from the word „kind“ which means „generous“ and „surprise“ is something unexpected. So Kinder Surprise is a a generous unexpected thing. Or „kinder“ might be taken from German and means „children“. Who knows, I’m not a wordscientist.

Well anyways, in Northern Ireland a kid who was playing outside found a chocolate egg under the hedge. He opened it and found white powder inside. Intriguing…

I dare to claim, that he was surprised. And so was his father and the police and everybody who read the news about it and probably you, the person reading this. Now that’s what I call a generous surprise (it’s a stupid joke, I’m aware of that).

Anyways, the kid was fine, since he didn’t try it or anything and the drugs were given to police. Nobody knows where it came from, but I’m guessing there was also one very surprised drug addict who realized he lost his stash.

Full story:

  1. Man ‘chopped off pal’s penis with an axe after boozy row over size of their manhoods’
Photo: brittgow/flickr

Does size matter? Yes and no. It depends on who’s holding the axe.

In Russia two gentlemen were having a wine tasting and an intellectual conversation about politics and the economic situations in their country. At one point the debate got out of hand and one of the gentlemen decided to remove his friends’ penis from the aforementioned gentlemans body.

Doesn’t sound believable? Really???

Okay, here’s the actual story. Two guys had been drinking for two days (!) and eventually got into an argument over the size of their dicks. As any normal man would do in that situation, one of the guys got tired of the argument, grabbed an axe, buried it into his friends head and cut off his penis after that.

As you may have guessed the guy with the axe had a smaller penis. But not anymore!

Full story:

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